If you’ve never had a colonoscopy and foresee that you never will, come back tomorrow when I’m writing about Spammers. But for those who might have a colonoscopy in their past and another in their future, I’m in your corner.
I am a veteran of six colonoscopies over 18 years. The good news is that the preparation for the procedure has gotten easier; the bad news is that easy is still a challenge.
Of course, you need to follow your doctor’s advice. But still, does he or she have firsthand experience with the little things? Like making clear to other family members which bathroom you’re claiming. Like not waiting to use a lubricant until the hemorrhoids show up. Like telling yourself you just need to get another day older.
Has your doctor tasted the gallon of solution you’re supposed to drink? Would he choose cherry or lemon-lime? I go with lemon-lime and gargle with mouthwash (preferably non-alcoholic type) after each glass of solution. It keeps your mouth from resisting the next glass.
I also prefer a fancy glass which goes in the freezer between drinks. Some people gulp the contents; not me. I don’t go so far as to pretend it’s a wonderful cocktail, but I do try to make the entire prep time as pleasant as possible under the circumstances.
As for your dining pleasure on that day, go with orange Jello® over green and whatever kind of broth – vegetarian, chicken, beef — you use for cooking. And keep telling yourself you could lose a pound or so in this deal.
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