Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

I am always amazed at the emails in my spam folder.  It’s not the quantity of them.  That goes without saying. Or the content.  It runs the gamut. It’s really about the preposterous claims that truly mark them as spam.

For example, Have a Better Life dot com (I’m not going to reward these spammers with actual website addresses) wants me to know that by Day Five I can get rid of my wringles. What the heck are wringles?  And Adstod dot com tells me FEMA is storing 450,000 plastic coffins near Atlanta, but it doesn’t tell me why. Several sites want me to be aware of my credit rating and my FICA score, while others want me to feel better about my hair loss.

There are also the ones in a foreign language and the ones who want me to buy Gucci shoe knock-offs. And let’s not forget the two current emails that think I need Viagra, although it’s spelled Viaagara.  I can get sixty percent off on my first order.

I’m not particularly interested in teaching spammers how to communicate better.  And I’m sure most savvy Internet people see through these claims just as I do.  At the same time, I cringe every time I empty my spam folder, because we are either raising a society of grammatical incompetents or we’re already there.