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Colonoscopy Prep

This is possibly more information than you want to know, but my first colonoscopy was over twenty years ago. I remember it as if it were yesterday, mostly because of the preparation for the procedure. It simply isn’t fun.

You don’t eat anything solid for 24 hours; you drink four liters of a ghastly liquid; and you spend an inordinate amount of time in your bathroom. You feel dehydrated, cold, uncomfortable, and tired. What’s to like?

My husband says the anesthesia for the procedure is the best thing about it, because it insures a great nap. Personally, that’s not enough compensation for me.

You would think that in twenty years some medical advancements would be made. But that’s not the case. However, since I’m having my seventh colonoscopy tomorrow, I can reveal some tips gleaned from experience.

Eat lightly the day before you have to fast. Remember the adage of “Garbage in, garbage out.” Opt for the lemon-lime flavored drink; it is markedly better than the cherry flavored one. Make sure it’s super cold. Use a wine glass for the servings. It seems more tolerable. Also, drink from a straw. Gargle after every “cocktail” to neutralize the taste in your mouth. Leave a really good book in the bathroom.

And when it’s over, especially if the results are good, treat yourself to a special meal. I’m already thinking lobster.

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