Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

There is a respite in politics tonight: no debates, no speeches, just the nightly news touting its predictions. But that’s normalcy these days. So I’m diverting to other topics.

“Men in white coats” means different things to Earl and me. In my case, it’s synonymous with medical situations, where doctors examine patients or – even more drastically – control those with emotional issues by subduing them in straightjackets.

Earl’s definition extends to his belief that Hammacher Schlemmer, that catalog of the exaggerated that claims it “offers the best, the only, and the unexpected for 164 years,” never includes a product unless its men in white coats have approved it. It’s like the Good Housekeeping Seal.

Here is an example of some of the items in Hammacher Schlemmer’s most recent catalog that arrived at our door earlier in the week. I leave it to you to determine if any of them need research done by men in white coats.

Item #1: Circulation improving leg wraps that inflate and deflate to soothe sore muscles and reduce swelling in the lower extremities. Honestly, this reminds me of those things they put on my legs when I had surgery a couple years ago. They’re like giant blood pressure cuffs and just as aggravating.

Item #2: A periscope binocular called the Doppelfernrohr used in the Cold War era for observation along the Berlin Wall. Of course, the Cold War has long ended, but this piece of optics is still for sale. The catalog’s description says it provides 10x magnification and amazing depth of field just as it did fifty years ago. It lists for $15,000 dollars.

Item #3: The Cat’s Phantom Mouse Teaser, a toy that entertains and exercises your favorite feline friend by encouraging it to stalk an elusive mouse that scurries beneath a fabric skirt. Do cats really need this?

I wonder if these items really need men in white coats, or in any color coat for that matter, to determine their worth to humanity. Earl swears by these men, but I scoff. I think the men in white are more a marketing concept than anything else.