Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

I have declared open warfare on the squirrels that populate our backyard, and I have done this in the interest of the birds that also live there. It goes like this:

We have bird feeders that hang from various shepherd’s hooks and are strategically placed around the yard so that we can enjoy watching our feathered friends feast at the birdfood buffet we provide. It’s free of charge to them but costs us about ten dollars a week. This isn’t something we begrudge the birds.

However, the squirrels believe the feeders are filled for them; and they make every effort to climb on them and steal the food. So we have a constant battle between the squirrels and ourselves in order to feed the birds. I believe Earl and I do not fall into the ‘bird-brained’ category; therefore, I am mortified when a squirrel outwits us and empties a feeder for himself and his furry family.

For a while, it was a personal affront that occurred with regularity, until I discovered an unheralded use for WD 40 oil. I now spray the metal shepherd’s hooks regularly with the slippery oil and wait in hiding to laugh at the next unsuspecting squirrel who makes a running leap up the pole. It is sweet revenge when it gets about halfway up and then slides down to the ground. If the squirrel were human, I would be hearing four-letter words.