It was my first experience caulking anything, and it probably wouldn’t have happened at all if Earl’s son, Rich, hadn’t pointed out the flaws in our shower.
“You might want to put some caulk here,” he said, pointing to never-before-noticed places where there were gaps between the tiles. “If you don’t do it, water could seep in and damage the wood underneath.”
Even though we plan to gut the bathroom for an updated version in four months, it sounded like a good idea to me. So off I went to the local Ace, about three miles from our home, to learn about caulk.
I found the caulk aisle but was in over my head immediately. There was caulk for this purpose and caulk for that. There was epoxy and acrylic and other names that escape my memory. Mostly there was Ace’s signature helpful hardware man, only in this case it was a woman, who told me what to buy for a short-term remedy.
So I purchased one tube of white caulk for less than five dollars and went home to read the label. I’m an avowed label-reader, and what I read made me wonder if damaged bathroom infrastructure was safer than risking the hazards that befell anyone who opened this particular tube. In fact, the label read like a warning on some medical prescriptions I’ve taken.
In a nutshell, there were precautions to be taken against breathing the caulk, having it settle on the skin, accidentally dropping some in one’s eye, or swallowing it. The caulk user was also encouraged to wear safety eyeglasses and gloves when handling the product and to make sure there was adequate ventilation. But the final warning was about potential liver damage.
Now I enjoy a cocktail every night, so my liver is an important body part. I don’t want to subject it to any more unnecessary dangers, because I want it functioning for the daily vodka on the rocks. Consequently, I wondered what the phrase “potential liver damage” really meant.
In the end, I decided that the amount of exposure I would have to the caulk, once I clipped the tube’s opening, would be minimal. It wasn’t as if I caulked for a living or intended to use it day-in and day-out. It was merely to patch about three feet of defective tile.
In addition, I followed all the other instructions on the label: cleaned the surface, rubbed alcohol on it to eliminate soap film, made sure it was dry, and then applied the caulk. It wasn’t as easy as I’d imagined because, among all those label disclaimers, there was no instruction about how to hold the tube so that the caulk went into the assigned cracks and not all over the wall. I had to experiment with a couple positions, knowing that time was of the essence.
In the end, I saved our infrastructure, but I must admit I didn’t do a very professional job. I probably saved my liver too, since the entire experience has taught me that I’ll not want to become a professional caulker.
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