My next door neighbor, Clara, is eighty-years-old and she has big sexy hair. Only it’s Big Sexy Hair. The capital letters make a big difference, since I’m talking about a product by that name that Clara swears by. Or she would, if Clara used four letter words.
Along with discussing such topics as the stockmarket, her continued support of President Bush, the price of gasoline, and the idiosyncrasies of the other neighbors on our road, we are always discussing our hair. So when Clara discovered BSH she immediately told me about it. “It gives you volume,” she said, and volume is something we both lust for.
When we walk out of the hairdresser’s our hair has it, but after we wash and style our hair at home it’s gone. Now I realize the hairdresser is a professional and she uses a variety of products to create her miracles. Nevertheless, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard to do your own head. In fact, in this pursuit Clara and I have purchased things that resemble whipping cream, petroleum jelly, and cooking spray, only to store them at the back of our cupboards and wait for our descendants to rediscover them many years from now. Their shelf life will still be intact.
I must admit when Clara first told me about BSH, I was skeptical. But this is the first product she has liked in our six years of research. And, at fifteen dollars a can, Clara would readily comment if it didn’t work. Which meant Big Sexy Hair made Earl’s next grocery list. I’ve only tried it once, but so far I’m satisfied with the results. My hair does seem to have more volume and stay in place better too. And, if I can get used to gels and foams, I’ll get used to the idea that BSH is the only hair product I’ve ever used that looks like oven cleaner.
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