?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Still Lobbying for Peace-filled

It’s been a long eight days since my last “Ten Minutes” essay. And challenges have come. Still, I try to make each day special.

What made it so today?

I managed to do three errands in less than an hour. The incessant rain took pity on me and stopped temporarily more than once as I went from one store to the next. I also enjoyed a latte along the way. And . . . I’m down to only two gifts to buy. Earl and I had “Date Night,” where we focus soley on each other as we dined and then went to the movies.

Tonight we visited Tosi’s, a landmark restaurant in our area, and then saw “Lincoln” at the local cinema. As we were heading home, Earl commented that it was a wonderful evening. I agreed. It was peace-filled after all.

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Be Peace-filled

The holidays are hurtling ahead of us, and there is much to do. Yet, this morning was so beautiful where I live that I just wanted to enjoy it and not consider my “To Do” list. I drove to the gym with the sun at my back and listened to holiday music on the radio. I made every light.

After swimming, I went for coffee and then returned home to start my work day. The sun continued to shine on me as I processed payroll, had meetings, tried to solve problems.

It was a wonderful day, despite the fact that the retail company I work for is struggling, that the economy at large is tenuous, and that the fiscal cliff is looming. I say it’s wonderful because there was nothing sinister that would happen today that would shake my world. So why not enjoy the beauty of the sun and soak up some of its energy for those days when we’re truly beset? They will come, but until then I choose a peace-filled day.

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Macy’s

This morning I heard on the radio that Macy’s Department Store is going to be open for forty-eight hours straight the weekend just before Christmas.

We’ve already acquiesced to seeing Christmas decorations at the end of September, holiday catalogs arriving mid-October, and robo-calls for magazine subscriptions as gifts in November. Then there’s Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday. It seems to be all about buy, buy, buy.

Could it be we’re missing the point? I understand that the American economy needs these boosts. At the same time, I believe that Christmas is really a religious day when Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. And, honestly, I’m not a particularly devout Christian. Yet, I am dismayed with the all-out commercialism. The marketing. The endless promotions. The gimme, gimme, gimme.

So when Macy’s says it will be open forty-eight hours straight, I am dismayed. It makes the holiday be more about buying than celebrating, more about dollars spent than thought put into being together, more about accumulating than sharing. Does anybody else feel this way?

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Ornaments

Earl and I are still decorating our tree. What I’m struck with is how many ornaments have special sentimental value. It’s not just the ones we’ve purchased as souvenirs on our many trips; it’s also the ones given us from friends and family over the years.

One special friend has given me ornaments for twenty years. Some are Waterford; others are symbolic of something we’ve shared: a trip to Las Vegas, friendship, music. All are front and center on this year’s tree.

Other ornaments came from family: the replica of a cruise ship to represent our love of cruising, the two limes to represent my cocktail of choice, the four lockets my son and his partner brought to decorate the first tree we did together in the mid-1990s.

Since we’re reminiscing, I still recall the first tree I decorated after my wedding. (To be honest, I wasn’t married to Earl then.) That was 1965, and my then-husband and I agreed every ornament on the tree would be red. Red balls, no lights, no other decorations. And we loved it. Some of those red balls, cracked and fragile, survive today and are on our current tree.

So it goes . . . I really don’t like the work of putting up a Christmas tree, but I love recalling how each ornament came to be on it. Perhaps that’s what it’s really all about.

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Christmas Tree

Over the years Earl and I have devised a tradition regarding our Christmas tree. In the beginning, I did all the work and Earl did all the admiring. I wasn’t so keen on this approach, and I once said that a tree wasn’t important to me at all. Turns out, it was important for him. Note to self: If it’s important to Earl, maybe he’d want to take a more active role. So I broached the subject.

Fast forward a few years and our tradition has taken hold. We assemble the artificial tree together. Earl checks the strands of lights to make sure they work. There is nothing more discouraging than putting a strand on the tree and then checking them, only to find nothing twinkles. After he checks them, I put the lights on. It’s a tedious job, but I believe well-placed lights are important. This takes a couple days, not because we have a big tree but because we intersperse the decorating around other activities.

Then we choose a night where both of us put on the ornaments. This year, we’re doing it tomorrow with spiked egg nog and holiday music. It will be great fun.

We’ve also gotten in the habit of buying ornaments when we travel. We look for representations of the places we’ve visited. This year, we have new ones from the Truman Little White House in Key West, Florida; the Roosevelt retreat in Warm Springs, Georgia;Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming, and Wall Drug in South Dakota.

And, in the building of our tradition, I can honestly say that decorating a Christmas tree means more to me than it once did.

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Coming to Terms with Grey

It’s been a lifelong challenge to look forward to shorter days in winter, where I awake before the sun is up and see its waning rays before dinner. I much prefer the long, leisurely sunsets of July.

However, I have no control over the various solstices or when Daylight Savings Time begins or ends. So a couple years ago, I decided I had to do something about my winter malaise.

I started categorizing my activities into a summer/winter dichotomy. In summer I garden, walk outside, bike, and sit on our patio. In winter, I read more, do crochet projects, and stay inside. I also appreciate that I don’t have to garden year-round.

But what does this have to do with “grey”?

Grey is the predominant color for winter in our neck of the US woods. It’s different from dark descending earlier, since it pervades and invades from dawn to dusk. The past two days, for instance, have been exemplary in their greyness. Which means that even during the eight or so hours of “sunlight” in the deep of December, it’s all grey.

This is my next challenge: to pretend I don’t notice, that it doesn’t matter if the sun shines, that I can be productive and not whiney under the circumstances. I’m working on it.

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Remembering

A week ago we were in Denver, Colorado, savoring the after-Thanksgiving company of family members as we gathered at my cousin’s for another round of merriment. We headed home the next day.

But the tangible evidence of our annual family gathering was more than mere memories this year. My son, Kevin, wrote an original poem to mark the holiday and shared it with everyone at dinner on Thanksgiving. With his permission, I share it here.

Dedication

To the little fruit fly who spent
ten full minutes of life beside me,
I thank you. To all the words I’ve
loved and which have so moved
me to try to say I love you to all
of you, I thank you. To the second
cousins once removed, may you
not be so removed in the future.
May I be so moved to move nearer
in heart and spirit to all of you who
have so moved me. To James and
our first fist-bump today, I thank you.
To the Red River flooding, and to
the wild deer, turkey, and moose
gallivanting beside her, I thank you.
To Mom and Dad and Mom and
Dad and Mom and Dad and so on
and so on, I thank you and you and
you and you. To give you an inkling
of how long this poem is going to
go on but still go nowhere, not long
not long. To just know in advance
that love itself might so move and
be so moved, I thank you. To think
that I might never have had much
pull with the one upstairs or much
luck with shooting for the moon
or aiming for the stars until I said
I’m in love the whole lopsided herd,
from second cousins once removed to
the lovely and lowly fruit fly. And to
the Lord above and for heaven’s sake,
I choose all of the above to thank
and thank and thank. To move and
move and move through this all-too-
brief life of looking closely at a glass
half-full, I give thanks, to seeing us
inside the little fruit fly crossing the
vast and holy universe, and all of us
always moving always proving our
humble little place within it. I offer
thanks and praise to every one of you
hurtling through time and space and
every blessed thing echoes I so move
I so move. To all of you and us and
you I so move I so move I so move.

Kevin Carollo 11/22/12

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The Embers

Earl and I are in Avoca, Iowa, on our way home from Thanksgiving festivities with family in Denver, Colorado. We left before the sun rose this morning with the intent of driving as far as we could before becoming grouchy. We made it to Avoca, east of Council Bluffs but west of Des Moines.

Iowa has outlawed billboards, so we had little to go on to determine if we could get gas, lodging, and food with cocktails when we pulled off the interstate. It turns out Avoca has all three, although not what one would call first class. No matter; grouchy was becoming an issue.

We like to eat at local establishments when we’re on the road. Want to leave some of our money where we stay. As he often does, when Earl got our room at the local motel he asked about the best place to eat in town. I was in the car, so I didn’t hear the exact response; but Earl returned and said The Embers was the only place in town. He also said it was characterized as “last century” and no credit cards allowed. I asked which “last century” we were talking about.

We drove the half mile to The Embers and saw other cars parked in front. It could have been a dive, but we were committed to eating there. Grouchy needed to be addressed.

We entered the establishment and were truly transported to the last century. The dйcor was a cross between soda fountain, early cocktail bar, and coffee shop. It had vintage lunch boxes displayed on two walls and a revolving dessert case which hummed incessantly. Still, it met our criteria, so we found a booth and settled in.

Right away Earl found a zinfandel on the menu that pleased him. Me? I asked what vodka was available, and the server went to check. She returned with some house version I’d never heard of – maybe “Werewolf,” for all I know — and while I was leery I ordered one cocktail with limes. I thought the limes might cover any suspicious taste, but it turned out The Embers doesn’t do limes.

After drinks, Earl and I ordered our dinners with soup and salad bar. We toyed with both while waiting for our entrees. And this is where The Embers gets four stars. My fried chicken was the juiciest I’ve ever had and Earl’s broiled walleye was the same. His mashed potatoes were clearly homemade, and my Idaho was baked to perfection. I must add that this is also the only restaurant we’ve ever eaten in that had tater tots on the menu.

It just goes to show you can have surprisingly good food anywhere, regardless of the century or the community that’s involved. In fact, we’re returning in the morning for blueberry pancakes before hitting the road. And grouchy has nothing to do with it.

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Becoming a Hermit

Actually I find myself becoming a hermitess since Hurricane Sandy and the presidential election. Both events vie for the winner of a contest regarding over-stimulation.

I was in New York City the Thursday before Sandy struck. We were all blissfully going about our business, but ninety-six hours later it was a different story. I got out in time, but as the days wore on I lost contact with my son, his partner, and the staff of their company as electric lines went down, cell phones faltered, and public transportation ground to a halt in many neighborhoods. Even though I was safe and sound, I felt as abandoned as those on the Jersey Shore.

At the same time, I have taken on more and more responsibilities in my work these past few months. More stress too. So while I couldn’t reach colleagues because of Sandy, I began to reclaim my own life: played piano more, kept my workout appointments, even read a book.

Then Election Day arrived, and with it more angst. Who would win? Will it boil down to chads or recounts? And will that person work with Congress? I went to bed before the final count was done, and woke up relieved the next morning that it wasn’t even close. I don’t care if you voted for Romney or Obama and I don’t care about your reasons. The thing I like most is that Florida’s votes won’t sway the matter.

That was almost two weeks ago. Since then I’m still hermitessing. (Is this a verb?) It’s a temporary state of mind, but I’m enjoying it immensely. Wrapped Christmas gifts today, paid bills, read. And never even thought of leaving the house.

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The Morning After

I stayed up this Election Night just long enough to learn which candidate captured the Electoral College vote. Didn’t wait for the concession speech or acceptance speech or pundit analysis that came later.

It has been a long couple years with annoying robo-calls, incessant commercials, gaudy billboards, and non-stop television exposure. Now my telephone will be quiet; although the commercials will be just as annoying, but for a different product. Letterman and Kimmel will have to find other entertainment as the President needs to get to work.

I am relieved.

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