?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Perch

It’s Friday; and, like many Fridays, Earl and I are planning where to go out to dinner. It’s become an end-of-the-work-week tradition.

Around here many restaurants serve up a batch of perch on Fridays, and we’ve been to more than one establishment searching for that perfect piece of perch. Of course, tastes different, so this restaurant review is based strictly on our preferences and is not meant to rival any culinary newspaper column.

We give our highest award – four fresh fishies – to Chaps, a restaurant in Douglas, which is about forty-five minutes up the road. It’s a long drive just for Friday night, so we save it for special occasions. Like birthdays with family. But Chaps has the lightest breading, the best flavor, and the most tender fillets.

Three-and-a-half fresh fishies go to a local Benton Harbor restaurant called The Establishment. It is as rundown looking on the outside, as Chaps is upscale. But don’t let that fool you. The Establishment is home to not only good perch, but also the absolutely positively best clam chowder in the area. The menu offers both sauteed perch and fried perch; and whichever one you choose comes on a fish-shaped plate.

Then there’s Clementine’s, where boaters cram the bar and the booths in summertime and clamor for a “mess o’ perch.” Off-season, it’s pretty busy too. Clementine’s keeps track of how many perch has served; and, while I don’t recall the exact number at my last visit, it was impressive. Three fresh fishies go to this restaurant.

Let it be said that we judged all three winners on the basis of their perch dinners alone and not on other things like ambience, noise level, or onion rings. Also, truth be told, Earl did all the sampling since I’m not really a perch lover in the first place. I simply noted his observations as I munched my fried chicken.

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News

Some days are fat with it; others are lean. I’m talking about news, real news and not a rehash of yesterday’s events. Today, in my opinion, was a fat day with several stories competing for the front page. And, just in case you didn’t get to chew on all of it in your favorite newspaper or newscaster, here is a recap.

Terri Schiavo died, but the story didn’t. Her husband and her parents continue to wrangle in public, so that both her passing and their ongoing animosity toward each other still hold our national attention. The autopsy, the cremation, the burial, all will consume airtime in the days to come. My only hope is that there are others out there, like me, who have tired of the spectacle and have turned off their radios and television. Maybe ratings will express what I cannot.

The Pope, leader of the Catholic Church, declined in health. Newscasters said he had a high fever brought on by a urinary infection. This is on top of Parkinson’s disease, a recent tracheotomy to ease his breathing, and the insertion of a feeding tube yesterday. It does not look good for the soon-to-be eighty-five year old man. So while the Schiavo case moves into the post-dying phase, the Pontiff’s condition takes its place in the annals of death-watching.

Reports from the committee created by the President to study the original 911 Commission Report lambasted the theory that Saddam Hussein had an enormous store of weapons of mass destruction. While it stated that there was no evidence that Bush and Associates tweeked the information before using it to go to war, it did note that B&A were remiss in believing everything they heard without getting, as they say in the medical profession, a reputable second opinion. President Bush went on television and sidestepped the issue altogether, although he did weigh in again on the Schiavo case.

Speaker of the House Tom Delay weighed in too, although it strikes me that his comments were out-of-line, given that his own father was badly injured in a bizarre accident in 1988. Kept alive only through various intravenous lines and oxygen equipment, the Delay family was told the father would be forever in a vegetative state. They elected to “pull the plug.” So I’m not sure why he sided with the Schindlers in their daughter’s situation. To read more about it, go to
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-delay27mar27,0,5710023.story?coll=la-home-headlines.

In sports, Coach Bruce Weber of the University of Illinois received his Coach of the Year Award for bringing his basketball team on a long journey and winning all but one game along the way. I enjoyed this honor, because my own son got his Masters and his Ph.D. from that school. I doubt Kevin is even watching the NCAA Final Four, so I’m doing it for him.

And the Chicago Bulls . . . hey, they’ve won eight in a row. Given where they had to come from, that’s remarkable. Michael Jordan should be proud.

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Taxes

I just offloaded Earl’s and my taxes to our accountant’s shoulders, and it feels really good. I’d spent the past couple months plowing through receipts of all sizes, retrieving tidbits of information, waiting for 1099s to come in. We’re nowhere near being a paperless family; but at least the annual paper hunt is over for this year.

The burden rests on Accountant Jim.

It’s not that I have extra time on my hands; but nevertheless I decided to search the Internet for appropriate sayings about taxes. Believe it or not, our very own government offers a potpourri of sayings, not all of which are serious and didactic. (Only a few!)

On the didactic side (Remember who’s sponsoring the sayings here.), none other than the renowned Justice of the Supreme Court Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr., said, “Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.” And former President James Madison said, “The power of taxing people and their property is essential to the very existence of government.”

But irs.gov has a sense of humor too. Also posted on the site, were the following sage comments by a broad spectrum of tax-paying American citizens.

“I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” said Arthur Godfrey, an entertainer whose name probably doesn’t ring a bell with younger generations, but who had quite a following in his day. Just ask Julius LaRosa.

“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” said Unknown, who most likely was a woman.

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” noted physicist Albert Einstein, who certainly cannot be called a scientific slacker. Then there’s humorist Gerald Barzan who added, “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.”

So it goes. Death and taxes remain the only certainties and even death got a reprieve with a comment from humorist Will Rogers when he said, “The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

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Connections

Sometimes I’m really slow in making connections. For instance, I took yoga for the first time about twenty years ago. Two nights a week I schlepped to the local high school gym to sit on my mat, twist my then more supple body into pretzel positions, and relax by exhaling. It was the relaxing part that frequently eluded me.

Now I’m into stretching, but not in a group environment. Instead, I use my bedroom floor, twist my less supple body into less serious pretzels, and relax. And, I can actually relax. Hey, my brain reminded me, this is what you were supposed to be doing in yoga. At last I see the connection between breathing and relaxing.

Another case in point: When we moved into our current house, Earl casually said, “I would love to have a yard where flowers bloom the entire growing season.” That sounded like a good thing to me, and we proceeded to tear out shrubs and bushes that didn’t flower and replace them with perennials that did. Day lilies took up residence where evergreens once stood. Wildflowers bordered our deck. Tulips, peonies, hydrangeas, and shrub roses became permanent inhabitants.

I love the look of it, but I never realized that many homeowners plant evergreens and yews and forsythia because they require less hands-on care. They don’t need to be weeded but a few times each growing season. Flowering things, on the other hand, demand your regular attention.

I also finally understood that doing the thing you dread first frees the rest of the day from anxiety. Which is one reason I always schedule my dental appointments early in the morning. And after three years I understand why my piano teacher regularly urges me to silently count the beats in a measure instead of guessing at them. It does make a difference.

I guess I’m a living example of the saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.”

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The Plot Thickens

My son, Keith, and I are each going to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in thirty-one days, starting May 1. It’s all the result of a book called No Plot No Problem by Chris Baty, founder of National Novel Writing Month.

Writing a novel is a lot different from writing a mini essay every day; even if I added the words of all the essays I’ve written in a given month, it would hardly make a dent in 50,000 words. But the object, according to Baty, is not carefully edited quality but rather randomly written quantity. Hence, the title No Plot No Problem.

Plot has always been elusive to me, and one premise of Baty’s particular writing approach is that a well-outlined plot is not an essential criteria for success.

About ten years ago, I wrote a novel called The Personals Chronicles. Even entered it in a contest and won first prize of $1000 and a meeting with a real-live New York publisher. I was more excited at the prospect of meeting a publisher face-to-face than I was about the money, since I’ve wanted to be an author all my life. Authors are writers who have made it.

I knew The Personals Chronicles needed work, but I looked forward to hearing the publisher say, “I like this novel well enough that I’m going to offer you a contract, provided you make the following changes.” There would follow a laundry list of suggestions that I would dutifully integrate into my masterpiece. But the publisher had different plans. “This novel really has no plot,” he said in his thirty-something voice. You have a nice writing style, but it doesn’t go anywhere.” Which was the same comment another publisher said about another work maybe fifteen years earlier. In both cases, I put the manuscripts away.

It’s not that I’m averse to learning more about plot development, but for the time being I’m going to go with Chris Baty, because he seems to espouse a method I’ve already mastered. I just have to come up with 50,000 words. Given my penchant for ten minute bursts, that could be a problem.

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Easter

It’s Easter Sunday; and, when I was a child, the day evoked a variety of emotions. Since I attended Catholic school, there was great emphasis on the religious importance of the day. In fact, we were taught that it was the most important day in the liturgical calendar, even when we as children preferred Christmas. To this end, the students at St. Louis Cathedral School, where I attended, participated in the Good Friday and Easter Sunday rituals. So I grew up knowing a “Pax Vobiscum” when I saw one.

I remember other things too. My mother, a single parent in the days when they were truly pioneers, always hid an Easter basket for me. Even when money was tight. I recall finding it behind the couch one year, only I found it a week early. She also made sure I had a new outfit, replete with hat and white gloves; because nobody went to church on Easter Sunday without them. We also colored hard-boiled eggs; but unlike today Mother never hid them. It was the actual coloring that was the fun. Of course, we then had to eat the eggs over the next couple weeks; and I remember more than one egg salad sandwich in my lunchbox.

Today I’m not much of a churchgoer, but I took a moment to remember how it was as a child and note the differences between then and now. One thing is for sure, I was a lot less aware of the world-at-large back then. It was strictly about my Mother and me. Now I see my celebration in a larger context.

For instance, the Terri Shiavo case has had center stage for sometime. I’m hopeful she will not die today because I do not like the idea of her death being linked to Easter. And, while she moves closer to the end of her life, college basketball moves closer to the end of the NCAA tournament. I don’t mean to equate the two; I merely list what is in the news these days. And, with both of these stories, the war in Iraq had temporarily been moved to the second page.

Earl and I had Easter brunch with those on his side. As a surprise his daughter, Adaire, had purchased Easter baskets for each couple in attendance. Earl’s and mine included photographs of a recent vacation with his daughter and her husband as well as enough candy to provide a sugar high for the next month. It was touching, because in spite of the world-at-large, she returned to the primal emotions I remember in my youth. Hey, Adaire, thanks.

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Genius

My piano teacher, Julia, is a genius. For the past few weeks I’ve suffered from piano malaise, a malady that afflicts piano students and makes them want to ignore their studies. At best, it blows over in a week or two; at worst, it becomes chronic to the point that the student quits altogether.

I am somewhere in the middle.

But at my last lesson, Julia said, “You really enjoy taking pieces you’ve learned and playing them for pleasure. Are you doing that?”

My head shook left to right, revealing the sad answer.

“Well,” she said, “maybe that should be your homework assignment. Instead of working on new pieces, maybe you should play pieces you’ve learned, only with the new skills you’ve acquired so that you can make the piece even more your own.”

I grabbed the idea, hoping to salvage my piano career.

So Julia assigned me approximately ten pieces that I’d mastered, at least at the particular level that I was when I attempted them. She sent me home to practice and enjoy them – with the emphasis on enjoy rather than master.

Maybe that’s part of the problem. I am a perfectionist by nature and learning a new language, the language of piano, at this age flies in the face of perfectionism. Instead, it argues for enjoyment and learning for the sake of enjoyment and learning alone. I think Julia must have known this all along.

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New Friend

All the sayings in the lower left corner of my web site are of my own creation, and the one that holds the place of honor currently made me smile. I’d written it several months ago, before I moved from business associate category to friend category with a certain woman in St. Joseph.

This woman will be called X, since she may not take to having our newly minted friendship used as coinage on the Internet. But I mean it as a compliment. We had lunch together earlier this week, and there was a feeling of wanting to know more about each other, wanting to do things together with mates, wanting to be there when the going gets tough. That’s what I mean by a good friend.

As we age, it becomes more and more a challenge to meet new people and turn them into close friends. But, as my current thought for the week and my recent experience indicate, it can be done. Otherwise, we’ll be left with an acutely declining Christmas card list in the years to come.

I have no tried and true recipe on how to make friendship happen, other than to be open to the idea. And to give the friendship time. X and I have known each other almost five years, but it’s only recently that we have let our hair down and shared the common places in our lives.

For several years, instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I’ve made a list of goals in December for the following year. Every year I’ve given myself the task of making one new, good friend. X is my special friend for 2005. And I hope she reads this too.

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Terri

By the time I finish writing this, my opinion could be obsolete because one woman in Jeb Bush’s Florida might have already died. That woman, Terri Schiavo, has been the focal point of news bulletins and legal briefs as various parties argue about whether to remove her feeding tube, the very thing that has kept the severely brain damaged woman alive for fifteen years.

There probably isn’t a person in the entire country who doesn’t know the story, since it is now chronicled daily – no, hourly — by television, radio, and print media. And there probably isn’t a person who doesn’t have an opinion about it. Here is mine.

I am saddened that two families with opposite points of view regarding Terri’s future have become the flashpaper for a political brushfire. This morning I heard a talking head specifically blame the Democrats and their pro-abortion position for the Schiavo case. I’ve also read that it isn’t the Dems, but the Republican evangelicals who want the President to be more pro-active about the right to life. How sad that we cannot step back and leave the families involved to resolve their situation without turning it into a cause.

I went on line to research the thorny issue of keeping someone in a “vegetative” state alive via mechanical means. Several ethicists presented divergent opinions as they struggled to arrive at some universal standard. One thing I learned was that the Pope has said feeding tubes are within the bounds of “normal” care. Although many other learned theologians disagree, Terri’s parents include that statement in their argument for keeping her alive. At the same time, there seems to be medical agreement that, short of a bona fide miracle, she will ever recover.

Some say that if Terri had signed a living will, none of this would have occurred. I don’t agree. Someone would have challenged the document, since the real issue has moved beyond Terri Schiavo to how we treat both ends of the bell curve of life. Somewhere in the discussion, respect for opposing beliefs also sank into a coma.

As for me, my living will is firmly in place and it clearly does not include feeding tubes. I’m stating this publicly so there will be no misunderstanding should the time come to implement it. Hopefully my last hours will not include media intrusion or political debate either.

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Only

‘Only’ is a tricky word. Basically it means “without others; alone; solely; exclusively,” as in “This document is for your eyes only.” (I get my credibility from Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary.) In this instance, the meaning is very clear.

However, according to my dictionary, there are at least nine other shades of meaning, some of which are more or less clear than the example above. Take, for instance, “Only you will regret your harsh words to me.” This implies that the harsh words directed to me are from you and that no one else will ever regret harsh words toward me. But if you said, “You will regret only the harsh words you directed toward me”; then the meaning suggests that there are words that you and I have had that you do not regret. It’s less of an absolute.

It’s most probable that one’s entrance into college does not hinge on where this four-letter word hides in a sentence. It’s also most probable that the world will not end because of where the word ‘only’ is placed.

In fact, my dictionary says that ‘only’ is placed in front of a verb more and more often and that the meaning is usually understood. For instance, “She only sold her stock because she was destitute” suggests she wouldn’t have sold it otherwise. And “He only dropped out of school because his mother was ill” suggests the same thing.

At the same time, I’m a purist. So when I compare the last two sentences with the one in the first paragraph, I see hair-splitting differences. Which cause me to think that the last two sentences could be written as: “She sold her stock only because she was destitute” or “He dropped out of school only because his mother was ill.”

This takes ‘only’ away from its verb component and makes the meaning of the sentence clearer. I for one think that’s important.

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