?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Miller

Playwright Arthur Miller died several days ago; and, since then, I’ve been reading what others more famous than I had to say about his work. The general consensus is that what Miller wrote mattered; it mattered not only as good theater but also as a cultural reflection of the last half of the twentieth century in America.

“Death of a Salesman,” written in 1949, is probably Miller’s most recognized and most often produced play. College drama departments, community theaters, and professional acting groups all attempt it, because the characters still resonate after all these years. And, regardless of the quality of the production, both actors and audience get something from it every time.

When I was in college I belonged to the Curtain Guild, a school-sponsored drama club. The group decided to stage “Death of a Salesman” in a workshop. We knew that only other club members would come to see the production, but you would have thought we were headed for Broadway. Arthur Miller made you want to approach his words that way.

He made you think too. “The Crucible,” set at the time of the 1692 Salem Witch Trials, was really a statement about the McCarthy era and the effects of hysteria. The underlying theme of “All My Sons” is about dishonesty and greed in wartime; it recycles itself whenever our country is in combat.

Some remember Arthur Miller for being Marilyn Monroe’s husband for five years. Hopefully, those same people have also read his work. Because, in spite of the notoriety that surrounded his relationship with Monroe even after their divorce, his words have influenced us far more than his marriage ever did.

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Con Ed

I am spending most of today sitting in a windowless classroom listening to a monotonous speaker update me on the changes in my profession that have occurred since I sat here last year. On top of that, the profession I mention is not really the one that is true to my heart. It is a job to fall back on, if necessary. But in order to do that, I must take six hours of continuing education every year.

I have no problem with the concept that professionals, regardless of their chosen professions, should update their knowledge. In fact, I believe it is essential. What I do have a problem with is how ineffective continuing education for certain professions really is.

The particular course I refer to above is related to real estate. Since I received my first real estate license seven years ago, I’ve attended the required courses to keep the license active. I don’t work in real estate presently, although I have in the past. And I believe it’s a good idea to keep any license that one has worked to achieve. So I sit through the boring real estate continuing education classes.

How would I do it, if I were the instructor?

Well, I’d elicit more attendee participation. I wouldn’t just read from the manual that has already been distributed among the attendees. Instead, I would spend the first half hour or hour having the group silently reading the manual. Then I would have already chosen topics with which to engage attendees with discussion.

Everyone in real estate has a story to tell: the seller who didn’t disclose he needed his ex-wife’s signature, the buyer who didn’t disclose she just bought a big SUV that put a giant ding on her credit, the couple who was bankrupt and couldn’t pay the real estate agent’s commission. We’ve all been there. And we love to talk about it.

So, maybe continuing education should have a “True Confession” component where Realtors® share their war stories. It’s as much continuing education as the formal classes are.

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Hot Dog

In a concerted effort to avoid starting on Earl’s and my taxes, my assistant Kyle and I went to lunch. We’ve gone to lunch more frequently lately, and you can draw your own conclusions.

For Kyle, lunch was a “Chicago style hot dog,” although we didn’t go all the way to the Windy City to get one. That would be far too serious a method of procrastination. Instead, we went to Mr. Goody’s 3, a new restaurant about three miles down the road from our house.

Just what constitutes a Chicago style hot dog, as opposed to a regular hot dog? There are criteria, as anyone who’s eaten one in Chicago knows. The bun must have poppy seeds on it; the dog itself must be one hundred percent beef; it must be smothered with relish, mustard, raw onions, a tomato slice, and pickle, and Serrano peppers, the r-e-a-l-l-y hot ones. Nobody eats the peppers, but for authenticity’s sake they must be there. The purist wants celery salt too.

Kyle is doing market research to determine if any restaurant outside the city limits of Chicago makes an authentic hot dog. So far, he’s visited South Bend, Gary, and Indianapolis in the State of Indiana. He’s also been to St. Joseph, Michigan; Beloit, Wisconsin; Iowa City, Iowa; and Urbana, Illinois.

“I think there’s a Mason-Dixon Line affect going on here,” Kyle said, as he bit into his Mr. Goody’s 3 entry. “Every place in Indiana got it wrong, mostly because they put catsup on the dog. That’s tantamount to committing a mortal sin. But most other places north of Indiana got it closer to the mark.”

Iowa, in Kyle’s estimation was closest to the ideal, although it omitted the tomatoes. Beloit, on the other hand, got it absolutely right. So I asked Kyle what the best Chicago Chicago-style hot dog was.

“It’s at Grand and Kedzie, but I can’t remember the name of the restaurant,” he answered. It just goes to show that the food itself is far more important. Besides, if Kyle enlists me to join his research team we might be able to avoid doing taxes until April 13.

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Stretching

This morning I rediscovered a book I’d bought about twenty years ago. Titled simply Stretching, it came out at the beginning of the fitness craze. I was younger then, but no more or less fit than I am now; and I remember buying the book in the hope that I would enjoy stretching where I didn’t enjoy actual exercise. It was a salve-for-the-conscience sort of thing.


Years passed. I still dislike exercise, but now I’m at the age where what I don’t use today will not work so well tomorrow. I am on the slippery side of the growing older slope, and salve doesn’t soothe my conscience any longer.

So when rain kept me from walking outdoors this morning, I decided to spend half an hour stretching instead. It seemed like an easier alternative to the stationary bike or the jump rope that both live in our basement. I set the kitchen timer, and began to read. And, yes, I counted the reading time as part of the thirty minutes.

I learned that stretching should be relaxing and that it should feel good. Not like the instructions from a gym teacher to stretch, stretch, stretch until you can reach your toes. Now raise your hands high over your head and do it again. No pain, no gain. Ugh!

According to Stretching’s author Bob Anderson, “Stretching is not stressful. It is peaceful, relaxing, and noncompetitive.” He almost made it sound like a sport I could actually become interested in.

So I tried the beginning stretches, the ones where you loosen up before engaging in sports or other physical activities. By then the timer went off, but I continued to study the section of the book called “Stretches for Those Over 50,” since there was no section called “Stretching for Sitting in Front of Your Computer.”

Actually the entire process felt really good; so good that in one easy lesson, I agreed with Anderson when he said, “Stretching is the link between the sedentary and the active life.” And with my newly found knowledge, I’m offering Brandt’s Corollary: Since I’d never taken stretching seriously before, that’s why I’ve never liked exercise either.

Maybe that’s a stretch, but I’m going to read on tomorrow.

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Grammar

Last Sunday the Chicago Tribune Magazine’s lead story was titled “Is Grammar Dead and Does It Really Matter?” I snatched the magazine from the rest of the paper and settled down to learn the answer.

The magazine’s cover looked ominous. With the exception of the words “Is Grammar Dead?” the background was all black, as if the editors had chosen their position and were already in mourning.

I opened the magazine and read the feature slowly, trying to determine which side of the debate the author actually came down on. But Julia Keller didn’t take a position as much as she presented pros and cons for each point of view. She quoted a linguistics professor, William Labov, who said, “We all think language is going to hell in a handbasket.” She also quoted President George Bush, who said, “This is historic times.” I leave it to any reader to decide who spoke for which side.

Keller spent several inches addressing the issue of fluidity, that language is somewhat like a river (my simile, not the Trib’s), which is always ebbing and flowing, adding and subtracting, ever changing. I agree. Otherwise there would be no need for heftier editions of the American Heritage Dictionary. She also quoted others to support the notion that today we speak and write less formally than in previous times. I’ve got no problem with that either.

But I do believe people use fluidity and formality to mask their lack of understanding of the intricacies of English. In fact, Keller cites a popular notion that our President deliberately uses incorrect English to make himself more appealing to the common person. Given that one of the criticisms of the last Democratic Presidential candidate was his high manner of speech, I see the logic of the idea. However, it appalls me. Even if one chooses to “dumb” down an idea or speak in slang or colloquialisms, it’s a good idea to know the rule before breaking it. And if you’re the leader of the country, it’s probably a better idea not to break the rule but rewrite your speech.

Which brings me to why I believe grammar is important, regardless of the times. First, knowing how one’s native tongue is put together hones analytical skills and makes for clearer thinking that extends beyond the agreement of noun and verb or noun and pronoun. Second, clearer thinking makes for clearer communication too. And ultimately that’s the crux of the matter and the real purpose of grammar.

These are, indeed, challenging times in that regard.

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Valentine’s Day

Some people consider Valentine’s Day another of those Hallmark® cards holidays, the kind designed primarily to promote the sale of greeting cards, flowers, and chocolates. While I have a long list of “holidays” that fit that criterion, Valentine’s Day is not one of them.

When I was in grade school, it was great fun to buy those packages of cards, print the names of school friends on them, and exchange them during an afternoon party where mothers brought in homemade goodies and juice. Those prepackaged valentines even had one for the teacher. In fourth grade David Seymour gave me a valentine with and big X and a big O on it. To this day I remember him, and it’s fair to argue that his valentine is the reason why.

Earl and I have shared a decade of Valentine’s Days, and the celebrations have ranged from pricey to modest. One February 14, early on, I invited him to dinner at my apartment. I remember this, even though Earl brought no card with and X or an O, because he introduced me to the work of artist G. Harvey through a beautiful lithograph of Chicago’s Art Institute. It hangs in our home today. I, in turn, gave him a piece of Waterford crystal shaped like a baseball, down to the stitching that was etched into the glass. It too is displayed in our home.

This year there are no special gifts planned, only reservations for dinner for two at a local restaurant. We’ll probably reminisce a bit and most likely the concept of the Hallmark® holiday will surface. But I’ll hold fast to my opinion. For one thing, Valentine’s Day is older than I am, while most Hallmark ® holidays are not.

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Sunday Brunch

There’s something about Sunday brunch that is special, even though breakfast itself has never been my favorite meal. But move the concept uptown, do it on a big scale, make it later in the morning; and I’m there.

This morning, Earl and I drove forty-five minutes up the road to have brunch with his daughter, his son-in-law, his grandson, and his grandson’s wife. Suffice to say that I salivated the entire trip, eagerly looking forward to the lox and bagel plate I planned to order at Everyday People, the restaurant where we usually frequent for brunch when the family gets together.

Some restaurants offer a buffet approach to their Sunday brunches; others simply offer their regular breakfast menus. And several restaurants we’ve been to have a special breakfast menu, which is served only on Sunday. Everyday People uses the menu approach.

Once we were seated, I looked and looked for the lox plate on the menu and fretted when I couldn’t find it. At last, a slower study of the choices revealed my favorite at the bottom of the page. There it was, described in all its glory, which – at Everyday People – includes capers, onions, tomato, cream cheese, lettuce, cucumbers, hard-boiled egg slices, bagels, and the signature ingredient.

The others chose dishes that – unlike a lox plate – come already assembled. They dug right into their food, while I separated the bagel, spread the cream cheese, pressed the raw onions in artistic fashion on top of the cheese, and then unrolled the lox slices and arranged them on top of the onion. There’s a ritual to all this, which is part of the charm for me. And, even though I was the last to finish, I enjoyed every bite.

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Signs of Spring

It’s early, but I find myself thinking about Spring’s pending arrival. And I’m beginning to see hopeful signs despite the fact that by the groundhog and calendar methods, the official start to the season isn’t until March 21.

Pitchers and catchers report for spring training this week. College basketball is in the home stretch to the NCAA Championships. There are no football games in sight. I saw my first insect clinging to a window, looking in at me as if to say, “I’m baaaaaack.” And Cadbury Eggs, those chocolate replicas of the real thing, have made their annual appearance. I saw them at Walgreen’s this morning.

When my son Kevin the University Professor was young, he loved Cadbury Eggs and introduced the rest of our family to them. I don’t know if he still enjoys them, but every time I see a display for the gooey things, I can’t help but think of him. And smile.

Award shows are also cropping up in the weekly TV guide. Tomorrow night the Grammies take center stage, while Oscar and Tony are not far behind. My lawn, which has been frozen all winter, is beginning to feel squishy. Here, where I live, the standard harbinger of Spring is the sprightly daffodil; when I lived in Chicago it was the overnight blooming of tables and chairs outside various restaurants to create sidewalk cafes. I bet both are on the horizon.

Then there are those things that signal spring by their absence. Like candidates’ commercials for major elected offices. Like victory speeches, parades, and parties. Like recounts.

I plan to enjoy it all.

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Vacation Benefit

When I go on vacation, I mentally check out from the daily barrage of newspapers, magazines, radio programs, and television tell-alls. In fact, the world could come to an end while I’m basking in the sun somewhere, and I would be the last person to know. Or possibly care.

During this last trip I missed all the hype surrounding the Super Bowl, the coverage of elections in Iraq, and the growing grumble about Ward Churchill. I also missed President Bush’s State of the Union speech and various confirmations of his cabinet. When I returned home I came in in the middle of several stories. For instance, I learned Condoleeza Rice made the cut as Secretary of State, although I hadn’t watched any of the hearings.

I skipped the nightly news for almost two weeks. When I returned I learned I could easily catch up . . . if I desired. I could log onto the Internet, find past dated issues of the Chicago Tribune or Washington Post or the New York Times. I could check with friends regarding the Super Bowl winners, both on the field and culled from the pricey commercials. But what I did instead was simply jump in the waters where I was and go with the flow.

My mind was much clearer and sharper than it was two weeks before, and I think maybe it’s because it wasn’t cluttered with TMI. For the uninitiated, that’s “too much information.”

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Panama Pics

The Panama Canal and its locks are so big that, without renting a helicopter for the day, it’s impossible to get a view of the entire project. Even if you taped all your photos end to end, they wouldn’t do it justice. What they do instead is feature the smaller details of the larger picture.

Like the two men in a small boat who row out to the large vessels and toss lines with which the ships tie up to the mules. The “mules” themselves resemble small locomotives that run on a track beside the canal and keep the ships centered in the various chambers.

The actual locks are like two immense flippers that move from the sidewalls of a chamber to meet in the middle. In this position, Earl captured workers, a bicyclist, and even a bus crossing from one side to the other on the top of the locks themselves. When the locks are joined together, the water in a given chamber is either raised or lowered, depending on the direction the ship is headed.

Then there were the white buildings that were once home to the United States military when our country owned the canal. They stand, well preserved, against a tapestry of green jungle. At one time, the builders of the canal wondered what they could do to make the landscape more attractive. Finally, they decided to leave the natural look, so that Earl could capture it almost a hundred years later.

And so it goes. Earl has photos of tugboats, freighters, the main house for the locks, and Gatun Lake. He even has photos of spectators watching the spectacle. Finally, as we were leaving the Canal Zone, he caught a breathtaking sunset. Here in St. Joseph, that photo counts for a lot, as we have hardly seen the sun since our return.

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