Posted on October 30, 2004
There is a charter captain who comes up the river past our house every morning at 6:30 a.m., rain or shine, summer or winter. We could set a clock by him. In the dark of winter, it’s eerie to see nothing but two boat lights, one white and the other green, glide steadily past our bedroom window. It makes me think Martians have come to fish.
Tonight we turn our clocks back. This has special significance for what is called Michiana, because Michigan turns its clocks ahead in the summer, while Indiana doesn’t. Consequently, those of us who live close to the state line live in two times zones half of the year. Case in point: In summer, planes leaving from the South Bend, Indiana, Regional Airport at 6 a.m. are really leaving at 7 a.m. where I live. But in winter, it’s 6 a.m. at my home too. Forgetting this idiosyncracy can make air travel problematic.
Tomorrow the trick-or-treaters emerge from hiding for their annual visit to our neighborhood. Usually Earl and I plan to be away, but this year we’re staying home and passing out the traditional candy. We must be mellowing in our old age.
Birds don’t come around much anymore. I filled the hummingbird feeder a few days ago, but the only creatures it has attracted are a couple bees.
There’s supposed to be great winds tonight, and everybody in my neighborhood is excited. We’re tired of leaves everywhere and hope that some heavy wind will blow the remaining ones from our trees so that we can get on with the final clean-up.
See more 10 Minutes in category Flora/Fauna, Small Town Life
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Posted on October 29, 2004
It started as a simple task: to wrap the three fish Earl caught yesterday and freeze them.
First, we cleared the counter and washed our hands. Obvious precautions. Next we cut the fish into serving portions and planned to wrap each one individually for easier thawing later. No problem here. Then we gathered our supplies for wrapping. So far so good.
But the Saran™ Premium Wrap refused to cooperate, in spite of the impressive wording on its newly designed box. Words like New Formula!, No Hassle, Heavy Duty, and New Slide ‘N Cut™ bar.
The new cutting device on the outside of the box is similar to those zipper bags with a plastic closer that runs across a track. Only this closer is a little razor that runs in a track. The photo on the box showed how to use it; and, between us, Earl and I have three college degrees. You would think we coul master it.
Without belaboring the point, the new cutter sucks!
This wasn’t a life or death issue, but it did make me read everything on the box. In the fine print, I found the following message: “As a result of SC Johnson’s initiative to look for more sustainable and environmentally acceptable plastic, SC Johnson has changed the Saran ™ formula to remove chlorine.”
Now that could be a life or death issue!
So I went to one of SC Johnson’s web sites, specifically www.saranbrands.com/faq.asp. This new version of the old plastic film isn’t even mentioned on the site, but a lot of other interesting information is. You might want to take a look.
Next time Earl fishes, we’ll have a big party that night and eat everything he catches right then. It would offer more fun that wrapping and freezing ever could.
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Dining/Food, Technology
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Posted on October 28, 2004
This morning I rose before 5 a.m., when the sun was probably just advancing over the Atlantic Ocean and still miles away from southwestern Michigan. I donned scrubby clothes, warm boots, and an extra jacket. Then I smeared my face with protective oil.
This was all before I snarled at Earl as he handed me a cup of hot coffee and a smile. Neither did much for my mood, but he knew it wouldn’t. It was just part of the deal.
Today, we went fishing and met Tim, the charter captain, at the ungodly hour of 5:30 a.m. Now first, I am not a morning person, since I think the sun should rise before I do. Second, I am not a fisher person. Third, I know that most fishing boats do not have bathrooms (although they call them “heads” on water), and you can guess what that means.
But I had agreed to go on this expedition because it seemed important to Earl. Which is why, I lay in the boat wrapped in a blanket and snoozed as Earl and Tim baited and reeled for a couple hours. By then it was time for the sun’s appearance, so I rose as if from my original bed. But a heavy cloud cover prevented any rays from shining down on us.
That’s how it went for six hours. They tried to lure fish; I tried to sleep. They ended up catching three nice salmon; I caught catnaps. The sun passed overhead, invisible still. It wasn’t exactly the morning I’d anticipated, but I still found myself relaxing and enjoying being outdoors.
See more 10 Minutes in category Flora/Fauna, Me/Family, Small Town Life
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Posted on October 27, 2004
I once had an all-black sweatshirt that had the following saying scripted in white across its front: “What if the hokey-pokey really is what it’s all about?”
Whenever I wore that sweatshirt in public, it elicited stares first and then reactions ranging from mere smiles to outright laughter. It was a definite conversation piece.
I purchased the sweatshirt from a catalog; and, to this day, whenever I scan the pages of the myriad catalogs that regularly knock on our door, I look for clever sayings that hope to gain acceptance on the front of people’s chests. Here is a sampling of the pithy and not-so-pithy observations from one recent catalog alone:
I’m only wearing black until they make something darker. Talk nerdy to me. Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I’ve done? Chick with attitude. Chick with brains. Always be nice to the lunch lady. Who is John Galt? (You understand this one only if you remember Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged.) I wandered off from the tour. So many books, so little time. Left wing nut. Right wing nut. Celebrate life with Ketchup! My pets are not my children; at least that’s what their piano teacher says.
It seems there is a sweatshirt for every persuasion, so what does this say about life in general? Maybe it is this:
People who wear messages on the front of their sweats make a statement about their convictions. Take “Right wing nut” or “Left wing nut”, for example. In either case, the graphic design displays a regular nut and bolt heat-transferred to the left side of the shirt, similar to the Ralph Lauren polo horse. The design itself is very tasteful; but the wearer, who may or may not be as tasteful, has publicly acknowledged where he or she stands.“Celebrate life with Ketchup” does the same thing, only it’s not about politics.
To understand the world according to sweatshirts, it’s necessary to accept the literalness of the words the person wears. There may be some subliminal message. But it’s best to start with a literal interpretation and go from there. And, if everybody wore sweatshirts that announced their most important issue, what an attempt at a more honest world it would be.
See more 10 Minutes in category Things to Ponder
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Posted on October 26, 2004
The press announced yesterday that Chief Justice of the Supreme Court William Renquist has cancer, the third of nine justices to meet this fate in recent years. The news seemed good, in that his cancer was caught in time and that the eighty-year-old judge would be ready for the next session of the Supreme Court, which begins its work next week.
I’m happy for Renquist, but concerned for our country. It’s clear that our Supreme Court justices are aging, and it’s probably a given that the next president of the United States will be in a position to appoint one or more new Justices to replace aging incumbents.
So I look at our presidential candidates with a new perspective. I’ve already determined where I stand regarding each runner’s position on the Iraq situation. I’ve also signed off on each politician’s war record; that is, the creaking record of thirty years ago. But now I see the election winner may have an opportunity to affect not only his four years, but also the decades to come.
In truth, this is scarier and more important to me than soldiers being killed in Tikrit, in the Dow Jones taking a dive, or in revelations of missing weapons in Iraq. The selection of Supreme Court justices influences the fabric of our lives from muted colors to vibrant hues. From conservative opinion to liberal point of view.
This situation makes it even more imperative that people vote, because their ballots weigh in on the far-reaching future. Long after President Bush or President Kerry has left the scene, we’ll be influenced by the next appointments for the Supreme Court.
See more 10 Minutes in category 2004 Election, Politics, Things to Ponder
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Posted on October 25, 2004
You’re printing a ten-page document and your printer runs out of ink on page six. You have no spare cartridge. You visit a scenic park for the day and record the outing with your camera. Only you forget to remove the lens cover. You put your favorite sweatpants, the ones with the drawstring through the waist, in the wash. They come out really clean, but the drawstring is lounging in the bottom of the washer.
Who can’t relate?
Not to trivialize our country’s woes, but these are the real challenges people face every day. We’re so busy at our jobs and our families and our lives that there isn’t time to get a run in your last pair of hose or a flat tire fifty miles from home. We’re worried about making the mortgage payment and getting Timmy to hockey practice, so his missing ice skate is on a par with a national disaster, at least for the moment.
These little challenges usually happen when I’m rushed and haven’t planned ahead well enough. My mind is trying to juggle ten things when there’s only room for eight. And since most people I know have similar stories, it makes me wonder if we’re all on permanent overload.
Maybe Hallmark could create another holiday – like Boss’s Day or Sweetest Day; only this one would promote doing nothing. For one entire day, all citizens would kick back and laze around. And, if the giant card company can’t make it happen, then maybe we should petition the members of Congress. They’ve been practicing all fall.
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Things to Ponder
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Posted on October 24, 2004
Last night Earl and I saw the Virsky Ukrainian National Dance Company perform at the local auditorium. Until then, the only thing I really knew about the Ukraine was that it had once been part of the now dismantled Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.
But, in the space of two hours, approximately fifty amazing men and women taught me a lot about their country. They whirled and twirled around the stage in their native costumes with what could only be called precise abandonment. Each dancer’s movements mirrored a partner’s, when called for, or the entire ensemble’s. A flip of the hand, a turn of the foot, an arch of the back – all perfectly executed and representing hours of practice.The program notes explained the meaning of each of the fourteen dances, something about the region of the Ukraine where the particular dance originated, the symbolism of the costumes, and the history of this dance company, which dates to 1937.
But what impressed me most was how exuberant both the audience and the dancers were. It’s probably safe to say that neither group could understand a word of the other’s language, but in the language of dance we communicated. At the end of the evening, the audience gave the troupe not one, but two, standing ovations. Then the dancers applauded us. I felt as if I had made new friends.
See more 10 Minutes in category Special Events
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Posted on October 23, 2004
I’m pretty liberal about most things, but I take a conservative view of what’s happening to the English language as it is spoken and written in the United States today. Frankly I am surprised at how many people do not speak correctly, and it isn’t necessarily those who come from other countries or who have little schooling.
Business people, educators, and other professionals all hack away at our language. They say: He don’t. We wasn’t. Him and me went to the movies. Where was you?
Some may cite the proliferation of bad grammar in advertising slogans, rock lyrics, and supposedly clever plays on words as the cause of this decline in good grammar. But I think these language arenas are mirroring society at large, rather than the other way around.
In this season of battleground states and the war of words, neither candidate has focused on grammar as a burning national issue. So I offer a simple solution to combat the problem. It’s too late to get my proposal of a Pledge of Allegiance on any ballot, so I offer it here as a write-in candidate of sorts. Raise your right hand, and repeat after me.
“I pledge allegiance to good English and to pronouns and the nouns for which they stand. I accept the diversity of verbs, their tenses, and their modifiers. I believe in the rules for punctuation, spelling, and capitalization and will use them to work toward freedom of expression and clarity for all.”
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Personal Pleas, Writing
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Posted on October 22, 2004
I am confused by a phrase I hear a lot in the media, from candidates, and from people sitting around picnic tables. In fact, I googled the phrase, “family values,” in the hope of clearing my confusion, only to learn there are currently almost seven and a half million references to it on line.
I chose to visit the first ten. Six of them clearly had a political bent, which didn’t surprise me, given that Election Day is almost here; and the issue has been fodder for both sides. One site was under reconstruction, so perhaps that webmaster was struggling with the same issue I am.
Which is, what exactly are family values?
When pressed for a definition, those who use this phrase seem to mean the values about family that the person or persons using the phrase hold dear. This is far from an empirical, dictionary-type definition. It also makes for a changing one, depending on the user of the phrase. This is why I’m confused. Why do so many people talk about family values if we don’t know what they really are?
By the way, the other three web sites on the Top Ten were about the Sopranos’ family values, gay and lesbian family values, and the Addams Family values. I rest my case.
Posted on October 21, 2004
I have had numerous services to clean my various homes over the past 25 years. Some were women who were independents; others were sent by agencies. And once, a man showed up, so I guess the title “cleaning lady” could soon be as out of date as “stewardess” or “handyman”.
Each cleaning person had a certain style, leading me to believe it’s important that the cleaner’s style matches the homeowner’s. Me? I’m a wiper-downer. I don’t care about dust as much as I care about streaks on mirrors, glass tables, and countertops. So I need a cleaning person who is as particular about such streaks as I am. It also means the homeowner who is into dust needs to find a cleaning person who has a dust fetish too.
Regardless of who does the job, I have never had a cleaning person who puts things back where I had them. My living room cocktail table, for instance, has four things on it arranged in a particular way. After my current cleaning service leaves I must rearrange not only those four things, which have been bunched to one side, but also every other accessory in the house.
Perhaps cleaners do this so that you know they were there. At the same time, I find it annoying. I am an intelligent-enough person that I recognize other clues of their good work. The sock lint is missing from the carpet. The commodes look fresh. The masterpiece cobweb of some creative spider has disappeared.
No cleaning service has ever left a rose on my kitchen counter either, but I think it would be a grand touch. The cost of the rose could be considered part of the marketing budget, since it would certainly distinguish that person or agency from every other. Word of mouth would spread.
All in all, I prefer to put up with cleaning people rather than spend the time keep my own home in order. But I’d switch services in a minute if my personal idiosyncracies, my possessions, and my preference for flowers were considered. Is any cleaning service out there listening?
See more 10 Minutes in category Me/Family, Personal Pleas
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