Posted on March 17, 2016
If I weren’t going to a St. Patrick’s Day party this evening, I might have forgotten the day completely.
My mother, one hundred percent Irish, would never have approved. Her favorite color was green, and St. Patrick’s Day was up there with her birthday in terms of significance. In fact, she pretty much celebrated her heritage every day of the year.
The Catholic schools I attended ages ago also took time to remember the Saint who, legend has it, drove the snakes from Ireland. Today’s scientists dispute this, but the legend remains. And when I lived in Chicago, I always thrilled at the site of the Chicago River being dyed green.
So I went to purchase an appropriate dessert for tonight’s event at a local bakery, only to learn it was pushing Easter cakes and cookies instead. I scoured my closet to find something green to wear tonight and came up emptyhanded. And I can’t even tell you anything about the Chicago River anymore.
All of which is to say, I’m struck by how such an important part of my upbringing has fallen into disregard. I think I want to rethink this for next year.
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Posted on March 16, 2016
Two days ago Earl and I made the Big Leap. We turned in our dinosaur computers for the most up-to-date models Dell could provide for home use. We upgraded our operating systems and our version of Microsoft Office; and we hired an IT person to help us navigate this giant leap forward. We are still navigating.
Our old computers had served us well and for a long time, probably longer than the tech industry wanted. Earl’s PC was about nine years old; mine was five. But each was showing quirks and causing frustrations when they took forever to boot up or talk to the printer, which was also on its last leg.
So we bit the bullet or took the plunge or whatever other cliché you want to use. Basically, we traded the frustration of creaky equipment for the frustration of learning new versions. We haven’t saved any time yet, and I suspect the rest of the week will go the same way.
But for two days into the mission I am glad we did this. It wouldn’t have been any easier next year, because our brains are the only things that didn’t get upgrades.
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Posted on March 10, 2016
Anybody who’s on Facebook knows that “Like” is no longer merely “Like.” Now you can add an emoji to your “Like” to express such feelings as love, laughter, sadness, astonishment, and anger. But those are the only five emotions you have to choose from. From my perspective, that’s pretty limiting; because there are so many words to express these five feelings. Take laughter, for instance. You can laugh, giggle, smile, guffaw, roar, or howl. You can do these things gently, loudly, annoyingly, uproariously, silently, and any other way you please.
I’m not suggesting there be more emoji options; I’ve checked online and there are already tons of them out there. But, other than confusion and misunderstanding, I wondered what the Facebook Five added to the conversation. That’s when I read the real reason behind them. According to Carolyn O’Hara, managing editor of “The Week” magazine (and others), “It’s advertisers who are over the moon, since they’ll now have access to nuanced data on what 1.6 billion people find funny or infuriating.”
I imagine this will translate into all kinds of targeted marketing. So when you’re sad, get ready to receive advertising guaranteed to cheer you . . .
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Changing Scene, Technology
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Posted on March 7, 2016
Dear Governor Snyder: Enclosed is a bill for $130.54, which is the cost of a new tire for my car. I’m submitting it as a credit on my state income tax, since a giant Michigan pothole is responsible for ruining the old tire, causing me undue emotional stress, the cancellation of various activities, and two visits to my local car dealer within three days.
You might think, “Why didn’t she just avoid the pothole?” Believe me, I tried. In fact, I always try unless it puts me in the path of oncoming cars, black ice, or ditches. (I still have a penchant for living.)
The thing is, if I fall on a neighbor’s sidewalk there can be some liability on my neighbor’s part. If I purchase something at the store and it is defective, it can usually be replaced. And when some activity I paid for is cancelled, a refund is forthcoming. Well, the pothole was on state property; it certainly made the road defective; and I’m sure that my regular tax bills include something for road maintenance.
Which brings me to another point: I have only seen trucks filling potholes once in the past few months. Maybe where I live it isn’t a priority for you – I know you have greater problems in Flint — but when potholes the size of small Grand Canyons require me to purchase a new tire, they certainly move up my priority ladder.
So, given the lack of attention to the potholes in Berrien County, it seems reasonable that somewhere in your coffers there is $130.54 that can be credited to my state income tax. I’ll let my accountant know. Best regards, Anne Brandt
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Personal Pleas
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Posted on March 6, 2016
I’ve been studying independent publishers and their websites the past couple weeks in preparation for starting my own publishing company. It’s fascinating. First, there is a ton of publishers “out there,” both indie and established. Second, there is another ton of authors and author-wannabees. And finally, it’s all up for grabs.
So why shouldn’t I join the fray? I’ve written for years and earned my living as a corporate ghost for many of them. I’ve had my creative work published in such recognized places as The Chicago Tribune Magazine. I’ve shared author rights with others and have been published under my own name as well. I’ve blogged since 2004, which probably puts me in the senior category of “Words Online.”
But the real reason isn’t to promote my own writing (although that certainly is a secondary goal). It’s to have control over the entire process from writing to editing to designing to printing to promoting. Perhaps that’s why Leonard and Virginia Woolf established Hogarth Press. Or why other indies began.
I’m also disappointed that so much current literature is dystopian, regardless of whether it’s for adults, young adults, or children. Think Station Eleven, The Hunger Games, and The Girl Who Could Fly. Someone recently said it’s because the future and the paranormal are the last frontiers. That makes sense, but I hope it’s wrong.
Somewhere out there should be readers who want a “gentle” view of the world. I hope to find them.
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Posted on March 4, 2016
Today astronaut Scott Kelly returned to the United States after spending almost a year in a space lab exploring what long-term weightlessness and other things are like. Perhaps he would have called it one giant step for mankind if a colleague of his hadn’t used the term for describing a long-ago lunar landing.
It isn’t on a par with space exploration, although it feels that way: Earl and I are buying new computers. We are, as he told the consultant who’s helping us, “move from wood-burning models to laser efficiency” in one giant step. The consultant was kind enough not to laugh aloud. But we won’t be younger next year, the learning curve won’t be less steep, and our dinosaur hard-drives might not even see the New Year. So it’s time.
It’s also a time-consuming project because it isn’t just the computers themselves that are being overhauled. It’s switching to newer versions of programs, getting our new printer to interface with the updated computers, moving all our data, and making sure we have a list of relevant passwords. While the new machines are quite savvy, they are not clairvoyant and I’m betting we’ll have to input passwords at various sites at least once.
At the same time, I look forward to having a computer that is one hundred percent up to speed. Currently, mine has lost its ability to do certain functions. I can’t tell you how often I’m typing along only to find that my cursor has inserted itself into a previous paragraph and the result is gobbledygook. I spend a ton of time fixing such things.
So by this time in a week or so, I’ll be spending my time learning Windows 10 instead. I view it as one giant step in the right direction.
See more 10 Minutes in category Changing Scene, Technology
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Posted on February 29, 2016
Today is the twenty-ninth of February, that elusive day that comes around every four years. It just so happens to always coincide with the years of our presidential elections, which means one more day of campaigning, one more day of whining, and one more day of political punditing.
You can Google® Leap Year and find out why we need this extra day every so often to keep our calendar straight, so I won’t repeat the explanation here. But I shall say I really like the extra day. It’s similar to the end of Daylight Savings Time, only on steroids. You don’t just get an extra hour; you get twenty-four of them. You can make them count, sleep them away, or do a half-and-half sort of thing.
This year, I packed a ton of things into Leap Day. Finished my piano practice by 8 AM; met my trainer at 10:30 AM; had a meeting with an illustrator at Noon; caught up on my ironing; and saw my doctor for my annual physical. Now it’s only 6:30 PM, so I plan to spend the evening reading and eating pizza. What better way is there to celebrate a calendar correction?
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Posted on February 25, 2016
Of late, I’ve taken to watching the news hour, first the local version and then the national one. Mostly what I’ve noticed is how much I can do in a thirty second commercial, especially if there is more than one in a row. And there usual is!
First thirty seconds: get already washed lettuce from the fridge; get bowl from cupboard and oil and vinegar from their respective spots. Turn on oven before checking to see if the news has returned. It probably hasn’t.
Nest thirty seconds: hurry back to kitchen. Remove casserole from fridge and let stand. Return to television and sit. By the following commercial break, the oven will be at the prescribed temperature and the casserole can slip inside for warming.
Watch your favorite newscaster discuss various events, always referring to the weather. Weather these days has become a subject unto itself. As the program advances, notice how many more commercials there are. Use them to set the table, find other ingredients for the salad, make the dressing, and fill water glasses.
With a little practice, you can handle all these tasks and never miss a word about Donald Trump, lead in water pipes, or the upcoming Oscars. But you won’t have to hear about the shame of psoriasis, the advantages of various prescriptions you’re to discuss with your doctor, or the sales of brand name automobiles.
It’s a win-win.
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances
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Posted on February 22, 2016
Even on vacation, I pack my laptop and spend time each day being tethered to my writing, my email inbox, and various social media. “I’d rather do that than come home to crises or a gazillion emails,” I counter when people shake their heads.
But this past weekend I decided to unplug for the forty-eight hours my husband and I were in Indianapolis visiting his grandson and family. Instead, I packed the yarn that would be woven into a scarf for another family member when I found time to work on it.
At first, I felt stranded even in the midst of a great conversation. My eyes searched for an electric outlet, although there was no need for one. And I almost asked what the password for the wireless was until I remembered I didn’t need that either.
By the next day, I had done several rows on the scarf, watched TV, and attended a couple basketball games. We also toured the NCAA Hall of Champions, an excellent although small museum, and enjoyed delicious hamburgers at a restaurant called B Spot. The thought of spending a couple hours in front of my computer began to recede, and I noticed how much time there was for other pursuits.
I’m not ready to give up my laptop for an extended vacation yet, but I did notice how relaxed I was with some time off the grid.
See more 10 Minutes in category Technology, Things to Ponder
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Posted on February 17, 2016
There is a charming catalog called Bas Bleu that comes to my door every so often. Most of its offerings revolve around books and book-y things, and even when I don’t need anything to read I always thumb through this little mail order treasure.
The most recent issue offered a list of reading challenges for 2016. In this time of heightened rancor among conservatives and liberals, conservatives and conservatives, and conservatives and everyone else, it was great to read some suggestions most people could agree with.
Here for your consideration, are some challenges that struck me as pleasurable. Read a school assignment again. Read a poem a day for a month. Read a classic you’ve never read or a biography of someone you don’t like.
For a school assignment, I reread my Master’s thesis which was about David Adler, an architect who lived and worked around the same time as Frank Lloyd Wright. I got that degree twenty years ago this May, so it was most appropriate to revisit that period of my life. I haven’t read a poem a day for a month yet, although I have read enough poems in one sitting to qualify. I’m still deciding on a classic and a biography. Perhaps if I choose wisely, I can accomplish two challenges with one book.
The last challenge on the list is to “read the entire Bas Bleu catalog in one sitting.” I do that every time! The writing is as good as any of the other suggestions that are given.
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