Posted on December 7, 2015
Many Americans remember that on this day in 1941, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and the United States subsequently joined World War II. I say ‘many’ because as the decades tumble after each other, there are fewer and fewer people alive who actually remember.
Which leaves it to books and film to help the rest of us understand. I hope these media are up to the task, because it is important not to forget our past.
But there is another reason I honor December 7. Twenty-one years ago today, my stepfather died unexpectedly. My mother, his wife, had gone to the airport to see a friend off on a trip and returned to find her beloved husband had passed away in his sleep.
It was the start of a truly difficult time for her, because Ollie adored my mother when others found her difficult. In addition, he added so much to my adult life; because when I left home to marry and move away, he took my place. As an only child, I welcomed a silent partner in caring for my mother.
Now she is gone too, which is all the more reason to pause and remember. Books and film will not record our personal family history as it has done with Pearl Harbor. So I do it here.
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Posted on December 5, 2015
I’ve spent the day cleaning my home, getting it ready for the holidays and guests. And now I’m at the computer just sitting still. Except I grabbed the snow globe that Keith and Chris gave me one Christmas, turned the key on the bottom for the music, watched little snow flakes flutter down, and listened to Leonard Bernstein’s “New York, New York.”
I felt melancholy, which is a rare emotion for me. Watching the subway in the snow globe suddenly reminded me of my years with Fred Flare, my son and his partner’s business. I was the finance manager, and we were on top of the world then.
But the arrival of the Internet heralded the demise of small businesses. Who could compete with giants like Costco, Target, and Amazon? Fred Flare closed its doors, and I retired.
I rarely visit this time of my life mentally. Instead, I forge ahead. But holding the snow globe in my hands, listening to Bernstein, and remembering what a ride Fred Flare was makes me smile.
See more 10 Minutes in category Changing Scene
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Posted on December 3, 2015
I read an article recently that said people who don’t look at Facebook for a week are less envious and less disgruntled. I don’t remember if the article cited scientific evidence or was reporting wishful thinking.
Still . . . I find the less I check social media the more time I have, the more focused I am, and therefore the more I accomplish.
I’m not the typical Facebook user in the first place. I’m considerably older, less interested in what others think of me, and more interested in facts over opinion or drama. I probably have less difficulty tuning out than someone who grew up with this phenomenon from the get-go and doesn’t know life before constant connection.
But what if everyone participated in an experiment where they looked at Facebook only once a day? I don’t mean all day long either. I mean each person logs onto his or her account for a prescribed time, then logs off and tries to manage life as it comes down the pike.
Would we begin to have longer attention spans, like we did in the old days? Would we search for eye contact with our companions, again like in the old days? Or would we feel bereft and alone?
I don’t have the answer, but I would love to participate in the experiment.
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances
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Posted on December 2, 2015
We are closing in on the end of the year, one filled with violence and vitriol. This saddens and frightens me. Saddens because there is so much strife in the world when there could be so much collaboration.
Frightens because the strife is becoming more and more rampant. As I write, I am hearing news of a new attack in San Bernardino, CA, where fourteen people were killed and another seventeen wounded.
I guess this happened within the last few hours while I was busy elsewhere. I’m not in the same room as the television, but I can tell by the strident tone of the reporters’ voices that emotions are high and information is low. Yet media seem intent on being “first at the scene” even when time is needed to determine the full extent of the problem.
This situation is a microcosm of a lot that I don’t like. I don’t like instant coverage of things that are evolving. I don’t like panicky tones in reporters’ voice. I don’t like innuendo and opinion when facts are scarce.
And, ultimately, I don’t like violence of any kind. For any reason. By anyone.
See more 10 Minutes in category Things to Ponder
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Posted on November 29, 2015
What is it about a compliment that makes the recipient queasy? The person offering it is giving a gift, one that could brighten a day, bring a smile, or even change an attitude.
But what often happens is that the recipient doesn’t know what to say and ends up saying something that diminishes the gift.
Girlfriend A tells girlfriend B, “I love your jacket.” Girlfriend B responds, “What? This old thing? It’s been in my closet for years.”
Girlfriend A tells girlfriend B, “You look great. Have you lost weight?” And girlfriend B responds, “Did you think I was heavy before?”
Finally, Girlfriend A tells girlfriend B, “I love your hairstyle.” In response, girlfriend B says, “It’s a mess; I can’t do anything with it.”
Hopefully the discerning reader sees my point. All of B’s responses don’t acknowledge the compliment; they negate it. What to do?
Simply master those two words, “Thank you.” And use them as the proper response to a compliment. The syndicated Miss Manner would be proud.
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Posted on November 28, 2015
While many people are shopping their hearts and their pocketbooks out, I’m hibernating this weekend. I was supposed to have guests, but things happened and they didn’t come. So I have what a friend calls “found time.” Indeed.
I could have filled it with regular activities: working out, mall walking, coffee klatching with friends. But I chose to stay home and regroup. Got a head start on holiday decorations; decided on the cookies I’m making for the cookie exchange; had leisurely chats with family members who live far away; and thought about the coming year.
I imagine bears don’t do a lot of mental things when they’re hibernating; it seems to be about sleeping instead. But for me, holing up in my home and catching up on various projects, particularly without constantly being on the Internet, is what hibernating is about.
I read recently that people who disconnect from Facebook for a week are less envious and less disgruntled. On the basis of a few days over Thanksgiving, I am Exhibit A that this is true. It’s more liberating than it is hibernating.
See more 10 Minutes in category Changing Scene
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Posted on November 27, 2015
Today is the real Black Friday, even though retailers have been touting it all fall. And even though I already have my shopping done, I’m still perusing catalogs. But it’s not for more gift ideas. It’s for laughs.
I love sweatshirts with pithy sayings, and there’s none pithier than what is found in “Catalog Favorites.” So when you return from fighting the masses at Target and TJ Maxx, sit down and enjoy a chuckle. I’ve culled them for you.
“Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You are one of them.” “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.” “I’d grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds.” “Nurses – We can’t fix stupid but we can sedate it.”
And, finally, “Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
I probably would never spend money to wear one of these sweatshirts, but I do enjoy a good smile.
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Posted on November 26, 2015
Today is Thanksgiving, which – according to Wikipedia – is a “national holiday in Canada and the United States as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year.”
But what if the preceding year has been tough? What if health issues, financial issues, and personal issues have been paramount? What if you’re exhausted, and the holiday season with its various activities looms?
Almost everyone I know has experienced set-backs in 2015. That’s not to say we can’t still be thankful for the harvest, but if some of us are not quite as cheery perhaps it’s because we’ve had a large dose of reality to swallow with our turkey and dressing.
This blog might mark me as a pessimist, but anyone who knows me knows I’m a glass-half-full sort of person. So how to turn this blog in that direction?
I am thankful that the year is almost over and that we all survived.
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Posted on November 25, 2015
I belong to two book clubs, the 4B and the GBC. The former is an abbreviation for Broads and Books Beyond Belief, while the latter stands for the Great Book Club. It’s the GBC that’s reading Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf.
And it’s a challenge . . .
I’ve started the book three times and have decided I must read it in the morning while my mind is uncluttered. I’ve also done some peripheral reading about Mrs. Woolf, her writing and her times. It’s helped.
On the surface, Mrs.Dalloway is about one day in the life of Clarissa Dalloway, who is preparing for a party on a June evening in 1922. The setting is post World War I England, and the book weaves back and forth in a variety of flashbacks to broaden the story beyond the day of the party. It’s also about serious issues like mental illness, feminism, and life after the war.
Not only did I read about the author, but I also read about reaction to the book, and why it’s considered one of Woolf’s best works. In fact, there is so much on the Internet about Virginia and Clarissa that I’m not sure our GBC can add anything different or significant, other than to learn why the member chose this book in the first place.
I have my opinions already.
See more 10 Minutes in category Writing
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Posted on November 24, 2015
About a month ago, I un-hired my cleaning lady and hired myself instead.
My cleaning lady did my home in about two and half hours and often commented on how easy it was. That didn’t surprise me, because my husband and I are certified neatniks.
When I took over the responsibilities, I decided to keep track of the time it took to clean 1865 square feet. It wasn’t about doing it in less time than she did; it was about doing it to my satisfaction and seeing what that took. And what it took is between six and seven hours.
This makes me wonder. If you clean more thoroughly, do you need to clean as often? I’m not sure yet, but for now I plan to clean my house only once a month; because it’s possible ‘thoroughly’ is so thorough that two neatniks can keep up on things in the interim.
When I finished, Earl said, “This feels so good. You did a great job.” That made the time I invested worth even more.
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