Posted on September 28, 2015
My husband and I are both only children, although we gave up being children ages ago. Still, the personality trait persists.
We are not prone to sharing, giving in, or collaborating. Instead we want our way and often don’t understand why others don’t see it as we do. At the same time, we’ve devised a system that works; and it’s called “Keeping Score.”
I have heard more than one sermon about marriage that says neither party should keep score. That each should give one hundred percent; that each should sacrifice for the other. I completely agree. But it’s easier to give that one hundred percent when you feel as if you’re getting the same in return. Hence, “Keeping Score.”
How does it work?
For instance, we go out to dinner – we call it “Date Night — once a week. But since Earl likes more casual dining and I like the white tablecloth approach, we take turns. One week we go where he wants; the other we dine with cloth napkins. It’s the same with other things too.
Recently, Earl decided we should watch television together. Now I am not as avid a viewer as he is, so this didn’t really appeal to me. Still, we decided to keep score. I would watch Saturday afternoon college football with him in return for his reading one night during the week with me.
This is a new routine; it’s not cast in stone yet. But I’ve already seen Notre Dame beat the University of Massachusetts last Saturday on the football field. Now it’s Earl’s turn to read. We’ll see where this goes.
See more 10 Minutes in category Things to Ponder
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Posted on September 26, 2015
John Boehner resigned as Speaker of the House yesterday. Both Earl and I are glad, but I suspect it’s for different reasons. (For the record, my husband and I are on opposite ends of the political bell curve.)
I have never particularly been a Boehner fan (He of the perpetual golf course tan), but I was impressed with his resignation to the point that I studied his Congressional career of twenty-five years. I like him better now.
Obviously there are political overtones to his decision; members of his own party were lobbying to oust him as not being conservative enough. Still, he’s been in Washington long enough to understand the concept of compromise, whereas those in his party who are new to the game and want Boehner gone have this “our way or the highway” attitude.
It remains to be seen what effect his departure will really have. But I have a feeling there are a lot more surprises ahead regardless of which side of the aisle one favors.
See more 10 Minutes in category 2016 Election
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Posted on September 25, 2015
Three months from today is Christmas. There’s plenty of time to buy the gifts and get the tree and cook the turkey. In fact, when I was little Christmas didn’t come on the radar until the day after Thanksgiving.
Not anymore.
The postal person, Earl, and I have already been inundated for a month with catalogs advertising holiday items. Hammacher Schlemmer, Lenox, and Frontgate sent me their recommendations the end of August, and the onslaught has only gotten stronger since then.
In my mind, this means there are various fall events that no longer receive their due. I mean if holiday (a politically correct euphemism for “Christmas”) catalogues start the end of August, what happens to Labor Day, VJ Day, Columbus Day, Sweetest Day (truly a Hallmark holiday, but what isn’t? ), Halloween, Veteran’s Day, or Thanksgiving?
Each has its special meaning that is getting lost in the rush to holiday.
I understand that many retail operations count on end-of-the-year sales to remain in the black. After all, I worked for one such operation for almost nine years. At the same time, it feels to me as if it’s more about the money and less about honoring various traditions, coming together as families, and generally acknowledging every special event in its own time.
Call me naïve, but I choose that over the money.
See more 10 Minutes in category Changing Scene
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Posted on September 24, 2015
I’ve kept this email in my inbox since June of 2014. It’s a link to an article titled “14 Brilliant Pieces of Literature You Can Read in the Time It Takes to Eat Lunch.”
Isn’t that a wonderful way to feel erudite in a short time period?
Authors such at Margaret Atwood (she of the perplexing tome), John Updike (he of Rabbity fame), Lydia Davis (whom I don’t know), Sandra Cisneros (whom I know peripherally), Ernest Hemingway (whom everyone knows), and nine other equally renowned writers offer short stories that make one think. Perhaps they also make one’s lunch taste better with the savoring of wonderful words of all types.
To visit these literary gems, go to http://mic.com/articles/90453/14-brilliant-pieces-of-literature-you-can-read-in-the-time-it-takes-to-eat-lunch
See more 10 Minutes in category Writing
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Posted on September 23, 2015
I’m clear that the prefix ‘pre’ indicates something that goes before something else. For instance, a pre-nup is an agreement between two parties that is signed before the nuptial day. Pre-meditated murder is one that is planned in advance. Pre-existing means you have some health condition that pre-dates your insurance policy, so you might not have coverage for that particular ailment.
But I’m confused on other uses of ‘pre.’
For instance, what does it mean when a car dealer claims a vehicle is “pre-driven”? I don’t believe it means something happened to the car before it was first driven. ‘Pre-owned’ gives me the same problem. Maybe it really means the car is used; and, if so, why not just say that?
Today, I saw a sign at the super market that read “Pre-conditioned avocadoes.” Huh? Are they brainwashed? If not, what was their condition before they became avocadoes? Is it catchy?
And does the supermarket only mean they are ripe? Or ready to eat? If so, what’s wrong with calling a ripe avocado a ripe avocado, so I don’t have to decipher today’s advertising jargon?
See more 10 Minutes in category Annoyances, Personal Pleas, Writing
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Posted on September 22, 2015
Judging from the long lines of cars that circled the restaurant, there are a lot of folk in the St. Joseph/Benton Harbor area who have been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Sonic, the new fast food chain that opened yesterday.
The location is prime real estate, just off the Interstate, and on a busy local highway. The closest fast food chains are at least two stoplights away, and the Howard Johnson’s Restaurant that could have offered competition has been closed for years.
I have never lived in a place where there was a Sonic, but the Internet informed me that there are over 3500 locations across the country. In 2011, they served three million customers a day, according to Wikipedia.
I looked on the company’s site for its menu. It’s mostly burgers, hot dogs, fries, onion rings, and shakes. So I wondered how Sonic was different from the other members of our fast food nation. (Give credit to Eric Schlosser for this phrase.) And then I saw it . . .
Sonic prides itself on being quirky. And at the new location near my home that translates into all the servers delivering food on skates. Yes, skates. There is inside dining, drive-up dining, and – as a throwback to an earlier era – there are bays where you can pull in, order food, have it delivered and eat right there. Regardless of the option you choose, skating servers are part of the picture.
I’ve never been a server but I’ve Rollerbladed® for years. Maybe there’s an opportunity here.
See more 10 Minutes in category Dining/Food
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Posted on September 20, 2015
Imagine what it would be like to go on a trip and return to find your home obliterated by fire. Nothing left. Not a stitch of clothing, a piece of furniture, or any artifact of family memorabilia.
Lest you think this happened to Earl and me, let me reassure you. It didn’t. Instead it happened to our neighbors yesterday. Like us, they were out of town. But unlike us, they returned to nothing.
I’ll go to bed tonight feeling grateful that it wasn’t our home that was struck by lightning. But I’ll feel a little guilty too. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. And yet, if lightning really was the culprit what a random accident this was. It means it could have been our home.
Which brings me to my son Kevin’s situation earlier this summer. He was wakened in the night by the sound of police and ambulance sirens that stopped in front of his house and stayed for a couple days.
Turned out that some deranged man had knocked on the door across the street from where Kevin lives and asked for a glass of water. When the resident returned with it, this man clubbed him to death with a hammer.
There was no connection between the killer and the victim. When Kevin called me with this distressing news, he noted the killer could have knocked on my son’s front door. Knowing Kevin, he would have offered the glass of water too. And the results might have been similar. A chilling thought.
We can order our lives with appointment calendars and locks on our doors and doing the “right” thing. But we better not become complacent when it comes to fate.
See more 10 Minutes in category Things to Ponder
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Posted on September 18, 2015
The three and a half years I spent in St. Louis in my youth were magical. I was a tween and a teen back then; and I had the greatest friends in the world.
Most of us lived within walking distance of the school we attended. We didn’t walk together in the morning, but we certainly congregated in the afternoon. We got enough distance between us and the school, so that we could lob snowballs at each other in winter and eat six-cent ice cream cones from Ellsworth Drug Store before summer ended the school year.
We were as thick as the proverbial thieves. Only we’re still connected where most thieves have had a falling out along the way.
It’s an amazing journey. If you want to read the yin and yang of it, go to my Potpourri section; as I’ve dissected the last three reunions at length. I don’t intend to do it this time.
See more 10 Minutes in category Nostalgia
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Posted on September 17, 2015
Today Earl and I head west to St. Louis, Mo, so that I can commune with members of my grade school graduating class of 1957. It’s our fourth annual event. How many of you can say you’ve ever even attended a grade school reunion?
You don’t have to raise your hands. I figured . . .
I’m not sure what the essential ingredient is in our getting together even though most of us didn’t keep in touch through the decades. Was it the crazy glue that bonded us back then? Was it the passage of time and the sense of mortality? Was it the persevering efforts of Carol, the graduate who really pulled this together for four years running?
Not that it matters. We’ve come together the past four years, finding more graduates and mourning the passing of others. In all, we’ve spent eight days together as opposed to every day in eighth grade.
So we reminisce about the old days and learn about what we’re doing now. Most of us are retired, and most of us have health issues. About half of us are married to our original spouses, while others have divorced and remarried. We’re a microcosm of American society.
Except we’re still in touch after more than fifty years.
See more 10 Minutes in category Special Events, Things to Ponder
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Posted on September 16, 2015
Tonight is the second debate among the various GOP 2016 presidential candidates. I imagine I shall give it the same amount of attention I gave the last debate, which was to watch the first five minutes and then recuse myself. It’s way too early in the game to get invested.
Still, I’ve created a category on my website called 2016 Election; and when the time seems appropriate I’ll start whining just as everyone else is doing.
I’ve done this for the previous three elections, so it’s nothing new. Do I expect to change minds and hearts? No. What I know is that I have a platform to express my opinion that isn’t paid by advertisers, sponsors, lobbies, or PACs.
Maybe that makes me unique.
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