Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

The title for this essay simulates the sound of primal frustration, that feeling that occurs when one absolutely throws up one’s hands in exasperation at a given situation. When one runs out of reasons or excuses or possible explanations. I reached that point today regarding the South Shore Health and Racquet Club!

Granted, I originally joined this local establishment in search of a shower, when Earl and I remodeled our two bathrooms last fall and were without bathing alternatives. Back then, when my expectations were lower, I thought the showers were a fine alternative to smelling up the neighborhood as our bathrooms were out of commission for eight weeks.

Now that I can shower in the seclusion of my own master bathroom, I’ve rethought that position. And I’m tired of remaining quiet about it in the fear of insulting local residents about their club. The South Shore Health and Racquet Club needs help.

Some of the things are obvious. Like providing towels that are more than threadbare. Like cleaning the water fountain’s surface that is so dirty the only way I can drink from it is to close my eyes. Like installing a blood pressure machine if the facility is going to be billed as a health club. Like fixing the shower heads in the various locker rooms. One in particular in the swimming pool area looks as if it’s falling off the wall.

Then there are the more subtle improvements. Like removing the sign that honors the club for twenty-five years of service to the community. That occurred in 2001; this is 2006. How about an updated banner that recognizes thirty years of service? It’s April already, but nobody seems to have thought of it. And what about considering offering light refreshments, if not full meals as an enticement to linger?

I realize I’m biased, since I once belonged to the most prestigious health club in the country. I’ve tried not to bring this up, not to compare a club in southwestern Michigan with one in Chicago. But I can no longer remain quiet. I’m not suggesting South Shore emulates the East Bank Club; but it wouldn’t take much for it to impress local residents and gain a greater following. The water fountain is an inexpensive place to start.