The magazines “Writer’s Digest,” “Modern Maturity,” and “Wired” have all incurred my wrath. Well, maybe wrath is too strong a word and maybe displeasure, which could amount to letting my subscription lapse, is a more appropriate one.
It’s those darn bingo cards that interfere with the enjoyment of reading a magazine from cover to cover. And, no, readers can’t win big bucks by filling in an entire row horizontally, vertically, or diagonally.
Bingo cards are printer’s lingo for those postcard-sized inserts that live between the pages of magazines. Some are freestanding; that is, they’re apt to fall out when you get to a certain page. Others are stitched into the magazine and have to be ripped out. All of them are annoying.
The very first thing I do when I receive a magazine is remove all the bingo cards and put them in the trash. My basket currently holds a significant bunch of them, all exhorting me to renew my subscription, become eligible for a free gift, try a new line of hosiery, purchase special hand cream, or obtain my copy of “Cargo: the New Buyers’ Guide for Men.”
On this last one, I’m not sure if the guide itself is for men who want to purchase gear or for women who are shopping for men. But that’s another topic.
I asked a couple friends what they do with bingo cards and the answer is always the same.
We all shrug and put the cards in our wastebaskets, so the magazine publishers and hosiery pushers only hear from those who order something by sending the cards back. We, the disgruntled, need to figure out how to be heard.
One idea I have is to return the cards with a big X on them and nothing more. Why? Because most bingo cards say the following: “No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.”
What this really means is that the company that sent you the card in the first place is willing to pay the postage for you to return it and buy its product. Imagine the costs involved if everyone who disliked bingo cards sent them back without ordering anything.
Bingo.
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