Today my next-door neighbor Clara turns eighty, and her family is holding a special party in her honor at Tosi’s, a local fancy restaurant. Like barnacles, there are memories attached here, since it’s the same restaurant where Clara and her deceased husband, Harold, held their fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration several years ago.
But tonight Clara celebrates alone. Well, not really alone since her children, their spouses, their children and their children’s children will all be in attendance. It’s only Harold who will be missing.
A couple weeks ago I asked Clara if Harold would be present in any way. I was thinking of a photograph or maybe a personal memory offered aloud by a family member. But she seemed startled at the idea. No, she assured me, Harold wouldn’t be there.
But I think he will.
I only knew Harold a couple years before he died, but one thing I remember is that he wanted to have a special party for his wife on her seventy-fifth birthday. However, he was too ill at the time to organize it or even delegate it to his children. So Clara’s birthday passed without special fanfare. Harold was sad about that.
Now we’ve come to another special milestone, and Clara’s family has pulled out all the stops in her honor. It may not be their way to include the deceased in the event, but I secretly choose to think that Harold, mentioned or not, is at Tosi’s toasting his beloved wife and — if there is an afterlife — eager to see her again. I don’t think he is sad anymore.
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