Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Advertising is becoming as inevitable as taxes and death. The only time I haven’t felt subjected to it lately was during the various presidential and vice-presidential debates where, for ninety minutes, burger hawkers, car vendors, and purple pill providers didn’t interrupt.

I understand how television and radio programs are underwritten, and I’ve accepted the role advertising plays in that regard. But what about the scrolling messages that now occupy the bottom part of one’s screen, even during regular programming? What about the stuffers that come in your monthly bills if you choose not to bank on line? Even if you do bank on line, which I don’t, I imagine you are subjected to pop-up reminders that pork is the other white meat, coconut oil is the best skin softening agent, and Shrek 2 will soon be followed by the studio’s next monster. Monster movie, that is.

When I call my telephone company to haggle about a bill or my car dealer to get my oil changed, my ears must listen to advertising about the latest phone or car feature while I’m on hold. Even the renaming of sports arenas — United Center, U.S. Cellular Field — is about promoting a brand.

Blue light specials call aloud in discount stores, hoping to entice me to buy something that’s not on my list. Carrying this concept to its ultimate conclusion, some enterprising marketer will probably invent a means for the trusty stoplight to emit “Buy Me” messages while flashing the familiar green and red. So many people, so many stoplights, so much advertising opportunity!