Accidentally — I hope — I received an email from AOL about re-gifting, the act of giving a gift to someone that you’ve received as a gift from someone else. I’ve also seen a television program about this subject recently, and I’m not sure what the hoopla is all about. Yet, re-gifting seems to be etiquette’s current object of affection.
The AOL notice shunned the practice, saying how gauche it was, how fraught with problems if the original gift-giver found out, if the subsequent gift-receiver found out too. But I noticed the article was endorsed by a variety of retail operations that stood to lose money in the process. It seems they were criticizing because of the bottom line. They didn’t want people to re-gift when they “should” be buying new.
Hmmmm.
I think there are situations where re-gifting is acceptable, regardless of what 1-800-FLOWERS and Target say. Say, for example, I receive two beautiful afghans. I have only one couch and don’t need two throws, but there are no gift return receipts in either box. I would try to determine if either afghan were handmade by the gift giver, because that would certain hold sway with me. But if neither was, then I would certainly consider re-gifting one of the afghans; that is, after I wrote thank you notes for both.
Would I tell anyone? No. In fact, I believe this is where re-gifters get into trouble. Somewhere along the line they are motivated to share what they’ve done, when it’s probably a good idea to keep it a secret. One doesn’t normal brag about gifts one gives, so why should one want to share that he/she passed on a re-gift?
There are other obvious factors. It’s important to make sure the gift — such as a book — isn’t personally inscribed; it’s important too to rewrap the re-gift appropriately. And, finally, I think it’s important that people take a different view of re-gifting. After all, a gift should be something that has no strings attached. So maybe the original gifter could have the mindset to be pleased that someone passed on something of value. If that doesn’t sit well, then the gift should come with a return sticker.
I suspect somewhere down the line I’ll get an email from AOL about the rudeness of returning a gift for the money too.
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