Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

When I was in grade school, Spam® was bone fide mystery meat my Mother served regularly. It came packaged in a rectangular tin, which she opened at both ends with a can opener. She then pushed out the contents and baked it, who knows for how long. Then we ate to the middle of the “brisket” and saved the rest for tomorrow night’s meal.

I suspect my Mother would be confused by today’s definition of Spam. At the same time, the content is still the equivalent of “mystery meat.” Here are recent examples of email Spam that have hit my virtual in-box.

There’s the email about my member becoming larger and thicker, and there is no doubt as to what part of my anatomy we’re referring to. It’s just that my name is Anne and my plumbing is on the inside. Then, there’s the email about how I can order medications online at great savings. I haven’t checked into any of these, but I suspect there is a catch. And what about the email telling me I’ve been approved for a mortgage of $400,000 at an incredibly low rate? Huh? What’s the deal here?

The most odious of email Spams, however, are those hucksters who invite me to obtain an advanced degree through one of their online “universities.”

As someone who went through four years of undergraduate schooling, followed by the required years of graduate schooling, I am offended by the idea that someone can get a degree on line without doing the work. I’m sure my son, the Ph.D. who went even farther than I, feels the same way. I’m also sure that my other academic friends with advanced degrees agree.

Online academic credentials are bogus for the most part; and those of us who have the real thing need to complain. It’s because these Spammers are different from those who offer body enhancements, mortgage enhancements, or prescription enhancements. To obtain the latter doesn’t require years of schooling, but to graduate with a college degree of any kind does.