Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about what I perceived as unnecessary things in the world. (See July 17, 2004) Included on my list were mosquitoes, neckties, and cellphones in coordinated colors.

Well, I have more nominees in case you are making a list of your own. What about moles, those creatures that can ruin a lawn in less than a single summer?

You don’t think of moles if you live in a big city where there is more concrete than grass, but if you live in the country moles are a source of constant aggravation. They live under the lawn and spend their waking hours creating tunnels this way and that. The tunnels are soft and squishy when those who live above ground walk on them. With bare spots where grass used to be, the tunnels are unsightly too.

I’ve tried to rid our lawn of these creatures, but they’re clever. The sonic noisemakers I put down their tunnels only prompted them to move to another part of the yard. The castor beans we planted, on a tip that moles don’t like the smell of the flowering bean, never sprouted. The $15 traps we set – all four of them – have yielded just two tiny culprits.

I’m running out of ideas. Except maybe we should raise a white flag on our flagpole, tear out the grass, and install green-colored concrete.