?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Green Beans

Posted on July 19, 2006

Neighbors of ours — I’ll call them Mike and Dave — have a stupendous backyard garden; and it seems we’ll be the recipients of their overflow veggies from now through the first frost. It’s exciting because we get to sample fresh-from-the-earth food without doing any of the work.

So far we’ve been given cucumbers, zucchini, and green beans with the promise of more exotic things to come. And so far, we’ve managed to find a use for everything. This is more difficult than it sounds, since I am not the world’s greatest unrecognized cook nor is Earl the world’s greatest undiscovered gourmand. As proof of the latter, I submit that he thinks canned green beans — those dark forest green, mushy strings of something formerly called a vegetable — are delicious. Especially when slathered with leftover bacon grease.

Please don’t fault me for Earl’s tastes; he started eating my cooking too late in life to change his opinion. Still, I’m thinking Mike and Dave can prove otherwise with their cornucopia of fresh tastes. This is because, after consulting The Joy of Cooking, a cookbook I obtained in 1965, I made a fresh salad with the cucumbers; and Earl ate his fair share. He even said he’d try it again. So chalk one up for the garden.

As for the zucchini, our current solution was to take it to Earl’s office and hope others enjoy it while I search for recipes that show zucchini at its best. I wouldn’t have been reduced to this solution except that we received an abundance of zucchini, more than could garnish a salad or morph into bread.

Then, tonight after dinner, we blanched the big bag of green beans that arrived on our doorstep a couple days ago. I look forward to relishing their taste in the middle of winter when there isn’t a green bean on the vine in Michigan. Earl didn’t seem too impressed; in fact, he downright refused to taste one. But no matter. I ate both our samples before packing the beans in freezer bags for later consumption. Believe me, there is no comparison between a fresh bean (even one that is destined to be frozen) and a canned imposter.

Even though it’s only the middle of July, I feel blessed not only by the immediate source of fresh food but also by its promise of great taste in winter. To this end, I secretly pledge to stay on Mike and Dave’s good side through the season.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Good Old Days

Posted on July 18, 2006

While our television and Internet connections were kaput for five days, Earl and I had a lot of time on our hands. Time that people spent doing other things before the dawn of 200 television channels and instant messaging. Before Fox trademarked the phrase “fair and balanced” and Google provided information at one’s fingertips. Before, say, 1993, the year I first signed up for cable TV and AOL.

We went to dinner, not only as a means of obtaining sustenance but also as a means of talking, relaxing, taking our time as there was no TV program to race home for. We did a couple crossword puzzles together, something we did regularly when we first met.

Earl began reading the stack of magazines that resembles an end table next to the family room couch, while I read a book cover to cover. My piano and I became better acquainted. We watered our plants more faithfully and watched the evening skies over the river. It was peaceful, I must admit. It also made me realize how technology has taken over our lives.

The first thing I do most mornings, even before brushing my teeth, is to check my email to see what has come in over the virtual transom since the day before. If I’m not careful, I even begin responding; and the next thing I know an hour has gone by.

It’s true some of that hour is taken with business emails, so one could say I was getting a jump start on my work day. At the same time, work becomes invasive when it can be initiated at an email’s notice. And, since I work from home and rely on email to get reports or directives from others in the company, there is the constant temptation to see if any new notes have come in.

I don’t do this just in the morning either. I do it whenever I’ve been away from the house for a while and after dinner and, yes, before going to bed. In contrast, those days without the Internet reminded me that I can control my free time and probably get more done, if I only checked email once or twice a day at predetermined times. So I decided to limit my time on the Internet in the hope of maintaining balance in my life and brushing my teeth without distraction. Perhaps my piano and my flowers and maybe even my library of unread materials will eventually thank me in the deal too.

In a way I have the recent breakdown in Internet communication to thank for this insight.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Comcastic? Not!

Posted on July 17, 2006

It may seem that my assessment of our local cable company is harsh, but I don’t think so. I’ve heard others echo the same sentiment, usually followed by a verbal “But what are you gonna do?” and a resigned shrug. Acceptance of the situation seems endemic.

So I’m resorting to the only way I know of making others aware of what they might expect if Comcast is their cable and Internet service provider.

Expect spotty service. And when you call for an appointment, expect to wait about five days for someone to show up. Then expect them not to be on time. Expect your anxious telephone calls, once you wend your way through the automated menu maze, to be answered by courteous customer reps (I’ll grant that.) who repeat what you already know. In other words, expect an exercise in frustration.

Just as you’re about to give up hope, the white truck pulls in front of your house. Relief is the overriding feeling, and it’s intense enough to forgive the company for its lack of communication skill and scheduling prowess. The thing is this is a vote for mediocrity as the standard of performance. I’m not sure I want to accept that. Especially when the company I work for prides itself on solving any customer service complaint in the first telephone call.

Sure, you might say, a smaller company can do that. Or you might point out Comcast isn’t the only culprit. I agree, but it’s the one I’m taking on. I want to know why it takes five days for a service call. Is every technician setting up new service instead of fixing current customers’ issues? Is there only one technician in southwestern Michigan? Are the company’s lines overloaded? I have no answers, but would look forward to hearing from someone who does.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Lost Connection

Posted on July 16, 2006

At approximately 3:30 PM on Wednesday, July 12, Earl and I lost both our Internet connection for the computers and our cable connection to the televisions in our home. At the time, it seemed like a momentary thing, some hiccup in the system that would self-cure if we were patient.

Patient meant shutting down our systems, waiting thirty seconds, and then reconnecting them, something Earl and I were completely capable of doing. But when that procedure — which we did several times — did not work, I realized our problem needed a specialist.

In this case, the “doctor” was Comcast, the local company that provides our cable and cable modem service. They’re the ones who claim to be Comcastic all over the media.

I had had experience with Comcast before, so truthfully I dreaded calling the company. For starters, the automated menu of options works hard to prevent the caller from finding a human being. When one finally comes on the line, he or she gives the impression that the customer — that would be me — is stupid for not figuring out the problem herself.

“But I’ve already done the things you’re suggesting,” I said tersely. “I wouldn’t have called you if they had fixed the problem.”

The company rep heaved an audible sigh of resignation and began the process of making an appointment for a technician to visit our home. “You do understand that if it is the fault of your equipment and not our wiring, that you will be billed for this visit?” Of course, I understood; but what could I do except hope that Comcast’s connection to our house and not the connection from the house to our various pieces of equipment was where the hiccups were still occurring?

The final ignominy, however, was that the earliest appointment was today, July 16, between 1 PM and 3 PM. Earl and I would be in the dark, figuratively speaking, for almost five days. Now one of us is a television addict and the other works for a company in New York City and is dependent on the Internet to show up for work each day. I argued these cases, but the Comcast rep held firm. Unlike doctors in the real world, there seems to be no such thing as triage for emergency cases.

It is now six-thirty and the Comcast repairperson just left. The short of it is that the housecall was successful; Earl and I are again connected to our particular lifelines. But the long of it is that the company’s service is only fair at best. Suffice to say that Comcast should reevaluate its current slogan.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Thank You Notes

Posted on July 11, 2006

I have three friends who write wonderful thank you notes, the pen-to-paper kind that come in the mail. The kind most of us dreaded writing as children because we didn’t know how to get past “Dear Aunt Jane, Thank you for the sweater. It is really nice. I like it a lot.”

These three friends make their thank you notes personal. It’s not just that they thank me for a specific gift or kindness or that they use colorful language that excludes “really nice” as a description. They have a flair with language and usually add something about our relationship that makes me feel as if my gift is only part of the equation; our friendship being the other part.

Beyond thank you notes, some of my good friends and I used to write copious letters back and forth, detailing our lives, our spouses’ accomplishments, our children’s progress, and our hopes for the future. We thought nothing of pouring our hearts out, word by word, onto stationary that had a purple pansy in the lower left corner or a monogram at the top. Today, handwritten notes of any kind are an endangered species.

At the same time, email options seem to have revived the art of personal writing in general. I now write a couple friends just as copious a letter as I did when postage was half what it is now. And, like the old-fashioned letter, we save our ramblings on our hard drives for periodic reminiscing. Regardless of the medium, it’s the personal that counts.

See more 10 Minutes in category , , | Leave a comment

Jury Duty

Posted on July 10, 2006

This morning seventy-six prospective jurors gathered at the Berrien County Trial Court in downtown St. Joseph, Michigan. Although they didn’t know it at the time, they were summoned to participate in a criminal sexual molestation trial of a middle aged man accused of having inappropriate intercourse with an eighteen-year-old mentally challenged woman. It clearly would not be an easy case, and I was one of those summoned.

The jury selection process took all morning. All seventy-six of us were given a number and a duplicate of those numbers was deposited in a box that the court recording clerk kept by her side. Initially, she pulled fourteen numbers from the box and those people took their seats in the jury box. Then the questioning began. Since the judge had said the trial would last a week, did any of these potential jurors have reasons not to be available for that long? One woman raised her hand and said her employer did not pay her for jury duty and that she would lose too much money. She was excused. Had anyone in the jury box known someone personally who was molested? Several people cited personal experiences with family members or friends who had been molested; in the end, they too were excused.

As one of the original fourteen was excused, the court recording clerk pulled another number from her box; and that person took the vacated seat in the jury box. This went on for about four hours; until the judge, the prosecuting attorney, and the defense attorney all agreed they could live with the various potential jurors. The jury selection process was over.

I was not one of those whose numbers was called, so I spent the morning listening and watching. And as I did so, I vacillated between wanting to be called to serve and not wanting the burden.

Sitting on a jury that would determine whether a person had committed a sexual crime is a heavy responsibility, really a burden. It implies that the jurors leave all previous prejudices and experiences at the door, pay strict attention to what is said in the courtroom, follow all the directives of the judge whether they agree with them or not, and unanimously conclude if the defendant is guilty or not. It is not something to be taken lightly. In fact, it’s the ultimate opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life.

Trial by jury of one’s peers is a cornerstone of our country’s form of government. I can’t imagine trying to get out of such a duty, even though it is inconvenient and sometimes costly. At the same time, I understand that people are excused from jury duty for a variety of reasons, such as hardship or bias. The ultimate consideration is that those who are impaneled are as objective as possible, holding both sides — prosecution and defense — to the same standards and not prejudging the facts before they are presented.

Once the jury selection process was over, the rest of us were free to leave. I came home to my own life, not having to worry for the week about one middle-aged man who was on trial for sexual molestation. And, yet, the experience stays with me. I suspect I’ll watch the local papers for the outcome and wonder if I had been impaneled would I have voted the same way.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Egg McNuthin’

Posted on July 9, 2006

Our company has left and our house is quiet again. To reclaim our usual weekend routine, Earl and I went out to breakfast. This time we decided to try McDonald’s.

I remember Egg McMuffin from its early days when my son Kevin, his father, and I used to visit a different McDonald’s in a different community for the newly created English muffin sandwich that extended the fast food chain’s hold on lunch and supper into the breakfast realm. We loved the hot round muffins with their equally round egg (How did they do that?), Canadian bacon, and their oozing cheese. Sometimes they were so hot we had to wait a couple minutes to bite into them; so we’d breathe their steam and sip our drink, looking forward to that first heavenly taste.

I came to this morning’s breakfast with this memory, even though almost thirty-five years have passed. Kevin is a vegetarian today. His father and I parted ways long ago. And Earl usually wants the sit-down kind of bacon and eggs. But he was amenable, so we headed off with my thinking Earl might even change his mind about Bob Evans, his favorite breakfast place.

I won’t detail the ordering process, since I imagine most readers have been to a McDonald’s themselves. But I am here to detail my disappointment in the current version of the company’s product. Egg McNothin’ is what it should be called. The English muffin was hardly cooked, therefore hardly warm. The egg was still round (How do they do that?), but dry and pale. The Canadian bacon was equally pale and hard to chew. And the cheese? Well, this cheese never heard of the word ‘ooze.’ The word ‘rubbery’ is a more apt description.

It was a major culinary disappointment, right up there with visiting the Eiffel Tower years ago and finding a hot dog stand at the top. Earl, who eats almost anything except vegetables, did not complain; but he wasn’t saddled with an old memory. From now on, I won’t be either; and next weekend Bob Evans can welcome us back.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Fourth of July

Posted on July 2, 2006

This is Fourth of July Weekend, with the actual Fourth occurring on Tuesday. This leaves plenty of time for travelers to get where they’re going, although they’ll have to cut their holiday celebration short to return in time for work on Wednesday. No matter, Fourth of July is all about celebrating and being together and grilling out and firecrackers and sunburn. It’s the height of summer enjoyment.

Our families are no less enthusiastic. On Earl’s side, we’re having a golf outing this afternoon and a big picnic tomorrow. Then my side shows up when the owners of fredflare.com arrive on the actual Fourth — they have to see the Madonna concert in NYC first — to hang out at our home for the rest of the week. Keith and Chris, fredflare.com’s owners, work hard, about eighty a week each, so when they come to our place it’s all about fun. Well, most of it is about fun.

We’re going to visit local ice cream establishments, take long walks by the lake, kayak from my house to Clementine’s (about six miles downriver), drink lots of beer, and generally celebrate our country’s founding and founding fathers for the rest of the week.
We see no reason to cut the celebration short, because Fourth of July deserves a hearty acknowledgement. Where else could two guys from the Midwest go to New York, work their butts off, and end up owning fredflare.com?

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment

Gratified

Posted on July 1, 2006

Loralee Mendez contacted me out of the blue today, thanks to the power of the Internet. She teaches at a local branch of Southwestern Michigan College and had found the book I wrote a few years back, The Square Root of Someone, hiding in her public library. I don’t know what prompted her to read it, but I’m glad she did.

She’s done more than that. She has assigned one of the essays in the book to her class as an assignment to encourage every student to believe in the power of his or her own story. Her summer school class is reading “Meeting My Father,” but other classes have read “Patches.” Both are accessible on this web site.

I had assumed my book was languishing, even though it had been a labor of love for me. It never climbed a best seller list or became Book-of-the-Month or grabbed Oprah’s attention. It wasn’t my ticket to fame, as much as I had hoped it would be.

So I was more than pleased when Ms. Mendez invited me to come to her class and talk about essays and how I got started writing them and why they’re important. I could talk for days on this subject, and I’ve run out of listeners in my own life. Now I have an opportunity to spread the word to college students. And the Word is that everybody has tales to tell.

They can be found in the daily hum of life as well as in unusual circumstances. What matters most is that they be committed to the page — hard copy variety or computer — without worry about grammar and syntax . . . at least at this point. Getting the feelings down is of primary importance. Punctuation and pronouns come later, but it’s the feeling that is the essence of essay writing.

Naturally I accepted the invitation to come to class and talk about my writing and the students’ writing too. And when I hung up from talking with Ms. Mendez, I smiled. A big wide smile. Someone out there is reading my work and even using it to demonstrate a point. I’m as gratified as I would have been had The Square Root of Someone won a Pulitzer.

See more 10 Minutes in category | Leave a comment

EOM

Posted on June 30, 2006

It’s EOM; that’s end of the month for the uninitiated. In addition it’s one half of the EOY, end of the year. Which means I am scurrying around trying to tie loose ends so that our half-year budget and profit and loss statements are as accurate as possible.

Thank goodness for Emma, my new assistant, who is quick with figures and knows key computer programs. She has only worked for me a week, but I know a godsend when I see one. Emma is the original model.

In fact, I didn’t realize how far behind I was until I decided to hire Emma. I had been operating on the “Well, that isn’t pressing right now, so I’ll ignore it” system for a few months. But I didn’t realize how much ignoring was going on. That is, until I began to offload onto Emma.

After one week, we’re far from caught up; at the same time, I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Which means EOM next time around should not be so fearful. In fact, it should be downright satisfying. I’ll let you know at the end of July.

See more 10 Minutes in category , | Leave a comment