As most of my good friends know, I’m not a morning person. And now that I’m no longer gainfully employed I have every intention of staying that way. At the same time, there are occasional reasons to set an alarm and rise before the sun.
To make it more pleasant, Earl researched “The Lady’s Speaking Butler Alarm Clock” for me. According to Hammacher Schlemmer, the catalog that features this item, it “faithfully reproduces the subtle wit employed by P. G. Wodehouse’s most famous character – the valet Reginald Jeeves – as he politely affirms the beginning of the day.” No mention is made of what time that is, but I’m willing to speculate.
Apparently, Jeeves rouses the sleeper at the appointed time with such comments as “Excuse me, Madam, I’m so sorry to disturb you but it appears to be morning.” Or “I believe it is the rotation of the earth to blame.” This seems so much more civil to me than Earl’s beeping alarm that was made in China and arrived on our doorstep as a promotional gift.
The problem is that the Butler Alarm Clock is no longer available. We’ve checked with Hammacher, studied the original manufacturer’s site, and even culled Amazon. But to no avail. So now that I’m ready for the dulcet tones of a butler, it seems I’m to be denied.
So sorry, Madam.
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