?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

FOMO

In the old days, we called them phobias: arachnophobia was fear of spiders; claustrophobia was fear of being trapped in small spaces; agoraphobia was fear of being embarrassed.

But with social networks running amok, there are a multitude of new phobias. Only they don’t call them that. The one I hear about the most is FOMO: fear of missing out or an irrational fear that others are having more fun than you are.

I have never worried about missing out, but then I’m an introvert at heart. My own company is pretty comfortable most of the time. Still, with FOMO being all over the internet, I decided to create phobias of my own based on the acronym.

FORO: Fear of running out. At my house this plays out with Kirkland 30-roll toilet paper and Betty Crock au gratin casserole potatoes.

FOGO: Fear of going out. With spiking restaurant prices and various issues about quality, etc., we don’t go out much for dinner anymore.

FOFO: Fear of *&&&% off. Needs no explanation.

FOLO: Fear of losing out. That feeling when you realize your supermarket coupon has expired or when you arrive at the concert on the wrong day. Or when your debate performance isn’t up to par.

FOOO: Fear of opting out. After all, what if the thing you decide to do is the wrong thing.

FOPO: Fear of passing out. This has to do with alcohol consumption and moderation.

I’m sure there are many phobias on the internet, but these were what I thought of first. I don’t even know if they’ve been properly identified. Now I’m going to shut down my computer and get on with the evening, hopefully phobia free.

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