One of my early blogs was about those annoying inserts in magazines, the ones that are either stapled in and have to be torn out and the ones that simply fall out on their own accord. Both are called bingo cards in the trade, and I have made a solemn vow never to purchase something or subscribe to something that is advertised on one of them. In fact, I’m considering canceling my subscription to “AARP, the Magazine” because it is filled with so many bingo cards.
This month’s bunch included Genzyme Biosurgery in West Caldwell, NJ, which wants to send me a free knee pain relief kit if I just send back its bingo card. The fine print, however, reveals that Genzyme is really pushing a prescription drug called Synvisc.
The Hartford, which appears to be an insurance company, wants to give me a free pedometer for letting the company see if it can save me three hundred dollars. But it doesn’t say three hundred dollars of what. I’m assuming it’s on my car insurance or my life insurance, but it could be on my grocery bill or my lawn care. And, no, I don’t really need a pedometer. It’s interesting that a competitor of The Hartford, namely New York Life, also has its bingo card in the same magazine. Only it’s offering a free clip-on radio if I return it. I wonder if more pedometers or radios were ordered.
Merck/Schering-Plough Pharmaceuticals is eager to provide me with information about its answer to high cholesterol, and Pfizer wants to give me a free guide to bladder control. What I’d really like is a free guide to bingo card control. It would probably reduce my annoyance factor, thereby decreasing my blood pressure, thereby minimizing the need for added insurance, and thereby allowing me to read in peace instead of pieces.
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