Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

Dear Allison, Jared, Michael, Lisa, Tony, and Janet,

Thanks for your unsolicited telephone calls offering financial help. I appreciate your concern about our debt, although I don’t understand how you know what our debt is. Or if we actually have any. Which makes me think this is a scam or spam or whatever you want to call it.

Your offers of “preapproved” thousands of dollars to help us, if we call back by the end of the day, sound too good to be true. The wording of your voicemail suggests the money is just waiting to be claimed by the return phone call.

You are all so persistent that I did some research on debt relief companies, and the bottom line is to avoid them. I’m sure there are legitimate companies out there who work with people who have accumulated more debt than they can manage.

But current information on the internet suggests that today’s debt relief programs that use voicemail to offer an easy way out aren’t really an easy way. In fact, the debtor can end up owing more because none of these programs is free.

I have never called back by the end of the day, regardless of how pleasant your voice is. And I never shall. So save your breath and take me off your calling list. Thank you.