?`s and ANNEswers

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Big C, Revisited

I returned to blogging almost two weeks ago by announcing that I had been diagnosed with cancer. Breast cancer to be precise. I’d had surgery to remove it four days earlier and was feeling fairly upbeat. I renamed Big C as lower case c, feeling smug and in control.

I did as I was told and didn’t raise the arm on the affected side more than ninety degrees. The doctor said I could drive as soon as I didn’t take any prescription pain medication, so by Day Four I was my own chauffeur again and even had mall walked with friends.

I’m wiser now.

The “big” in Big C isn’t as simple as I thought in my first blog on the subject. It doesn’t just refer to the concept of cancer or the size of a tumor or the difficulty in the surgical procedure to remove it. Nor is it only about attitude. It’s far more insidious.

It’s what goes on in your mind when you’re tired of a drain. (See previous blog about Duane.) When you realize your activities are more limited than you’d imagined. When one week seems like a lifetime on the continuum of improvement. When your misery overtakes reality.

Normally I’m a glass-half-full person; but as the seriousness of the situation has caught up with me it’s become more difficult. Yet, I still believe keeping Big C at bay requires constant positive thinking. So I’m working on my attitude adjustment.

And today was a 6.

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