Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

You’d have to live in a cave in Siberia not to have seen the commercials for the Topsy Turvy®, a contraption that promises bountiful tomatoes without the hassle of planting a garden. Well,Ike and Tina Tomato have been hanging upside down for six weeks just outside our back door.

We’ve watered them and fertilized them and named them because I believe things with names grow better. To date, they’ve produced lush leaves and a few flowers. But no tomatoes.

I didn’t know how long it takes to grow tomatoes, so I went to the Topsy Turvy® website. The site offers the usual testimonials and boasts that its product will produce up to 30 pounds of tomatoes per plant because the root systems explode inside the plastic planter. The site does not, however, offer any tips on how long this takes.

So I went to Google® and learned that some tomatoes are ready to pick 50 days after being planted, while others take 90 days. Doing the math, I figured we’re at Day 42, so there’s still hope. I’m already hungering to bite into a juicy BLT sandwich.

Preferably before Labor Day.