?`s and ANNEswers

Ten minutes to write. Less time to read.

USPS vs. Me

I’m the type of person who learns the rules and then decides what the standard deviation is. It’s my nature to do just what has to be done to stay under any official organization’s radar.

Which is why I took myself to the Benton Harbor Post Office yesterday to inquire about how to send a paring knife to my son.  I was sure such an item is considered a “weapon,” and I didn’t want to jeopardize my freedom by sending it without the proper research.

Why, you ask, am I sending a paring knife to Keith?  Well, I gave him one in person at Christmas that he loves, and he wanted another.  Without thinking of postal regulations aimed at terrorists, I volunteered to get the back-up knife.

Went to Perennial Accents, a local Williams-Sonoma in miniature, and purchased a bright blue version.  In fact, I also purchased a bright purple version for myself.

Then I realized that sending the knife to Keith is different from his opening it here and putting it in the car for the return home.  What to do? At one time I thought I’d put the knife in a cake mix (a la prison breakout stories) and send it on.  Instead I visited the Post Office for information.

Turns out one can send a knife through the mail as long as one declares it, agrees that it  should go ground and not air, and testifies that it isn’t a jack-knife.  I could do all of these things.  So today I packaged the knife in a book I wanted to send Keith (instead of a cake mix) and trundled off to the Post Office one more time.  The entire adventure cost me less than four dollars.

He’ll get the book and the knife by the weekend.  Case closed.

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